Better Than Love
by MrsChairNaley
Summary: Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they hide their true feelings from one another? And when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together? A C B love story based on TV show, reviews welcome!
1. Searching for something more

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.  
**A/N:** This is my first chapter of my first ever fanfiction so read and enjoy! Any reviews really welcome x

* * *

Chuck Bass was the quintessential bad boy of the Upper East side, womanising, drinking and gambling were just a few of his exploits; he was self assured, confident and could deal with any of the crap life handed him, "weak" was not a word in Chuck Bass's language. He was extremely good looking – and knew it; with sparking brown eyes, short cropped hair and an extremely distinguished handsome face, Chuck gained all the women's attention. But that was all they were to him, just objects, targets if you like, he found charming women like a sport, never had he wanted anything more from them, they were just a pleasant distraction from his routine life. He only cared about three things – money, the pleasure money brought him, and his best friend Nate Archibald. Nate had always been like a brother to him, they fought and argued and had contrasting personalities, but when it came down to it, they could both count on each other for support.

Little did Chuck know that his life was about to dramatically change, he wouldn't just care for Nate , he would soon come to care for one more person, and that person would be the most important thing to him for the rest of his life.

Blair Waldorf, the "Queen Bee" of her High School, portrayed the perfect image of innocence and purity and yet managed to remain remarkably shrewd and astute while doing so. She was born into an extremely rich family which meant she always had everything she wanted, she was constantly dressed head to toe in designer clothes and never left the house without a pair of Christian Louboutins on. She was a petite brunette with delicate yet stunning features and a boyfriend to match - the delectable Nate Archibald. From the outside they appeared to be the perfect couple, always turning up at balls and social gatherings together with implanted smiles to represent how they planned to spend the rest of their lives together. But Blair was troubled and secretly had doubts about the relationship and how Nate felt about her. She kept up the persistent facade of her "perfect life", but deep down she craved more, she craved the thrill and excitement of love and lust that Nate just couldn't provide.

* * *

It was a late Saturday night for the Upper East siders, and all around the city people were drinking and having fun in the many clubs and bars well into the early hours of the morning. However Blair was an exception; she had just had one of her notorious fights with boyfriend Nate, she couldn't even remember what it was about, but she knew he had said something to aggravate her. These arguments seemed to be happening a lot recently, the spark and happiness was fading in their relationship and the worst thing was, Blair didn't even feel bothered. She really wondered whether it was ever there in the first place.

She didn't want to waste her time with or thinking about Nate, so her first thought was to go and see her friend Serena; they had been best friends for years and had hours of fun and debauchery together, but were also there for support when needed so. But Blair suspected Serena would be with her newly appointed boyfriend Dan. She didn't mind Dan, even though he was from a completely different class and background from them, but she didn't fancy playing third wheel to the newly infatuated couple.

No, Blair didn't want to go and see Serena, nor talk about Nate, she just wanted to let loose, relax and have some fun, and where to go for that? Chuck Bass's new burlesque club _Victrola_ of course. Yes, Blair decided she would go there and find Chuck, perhaps he could show her a good time.

The blaring music thumped into Blair's ears as she stepped into Victrola, she tried to skim the room but the flashing lights dazzled her for a moment, unsure of where to find Chuck she headed for the stage, presuming he would be leering over the half naked dancers. And sure enough, after making her way through the many sweaty clubbers, there in his own private booth sat Chuck Bass, he was sipping Champagne and sprawled out in a casual manner.

Chuck took his eyes away from his dancers and glanced over to see who wanted his attention. He was surprised to see Blair standing infront of him, he first noticed how incredibly hot she was looking (but then he always found Blair extremely attractive), then he was curious to why she was there looking for him in the first place.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure Waldorf?"

"Nate and I had an argument, so I just wanted to come out and have a good time"

"You know I could show you a good time" Chuck raised his eyebrow in a sarcastic manner

"Ew, Chuck he's your best friend, and my boyfriend, and what makes you think I'd look twice at you anyway?"

"The same reason you came to find me in the first place" he smirked knowing he was backing Blair down.

She couldn't be bothered to retort so instead reached for his glass of champagne and downed it in one, normally she would be more lady-like but tonight she wasn't in the mood. She glanced over at Chuck; he was intently watching the dancers on stage, a slight twinge of jealousy struck Blair as she desired the attention he was so freely giving them.

"You know I've got moves" Blair said suddenly

"Really?" Chuck leaned forward "Then why don't you get up there"

"I'm just saying, I have moves" laughed Blair

"Oh come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls" Chuck said honestly

"I know what you're doing Bass" It was then Blair had a moment of inspiration "You really don't think I'd go up there"

"I know you won't do it" Chuck smiled confidently

"Gaurd my drink" No-one was going to tell Blair what she could and couldn't do that night.

Chuck sat back and waited for her to turn around, he knew she wouldn't actually go up on stage and perform, Blair Waldorf didn't do things like this. But his eyes followed her intently anyway, curious for what she was about to do.

Knowing Chuck was watching her only urged Blair on more, she never did anything like this, but she was loving the thrill it was giving her. She climbed the steps and made her way to centre stage, there she turned to face the eager crowd. She took a deep breath in, she couldn't go back now, she wouldn't give Chuck the satisfaction. She smiled and reached up for her headband, took it off and then threw it to the floor, then, swaying with the music she began to unzip the side of her dress. Some of the men at the back of the club were cheering and giving her attention, but Blair ignored them as she only craved attention from one man in particular. Her dress slid to the ground revealing her silk negligee and fishnet tights, she didn't feel embarrassed at all, she was enjoying every second of it. She raised her hand gradually and swayed her hips more to the music hoping to gain Chucks attention.

And she did. Chuck rose in disbelief as he watched the extremely gorgeous girl in front of him; he was _sure_ she wouldn't have done it, but this time Chuck didn't mind being wrong, in fact he loved being wrong. The way she was dancing and looking straight at him, as though no-one else was there in the club, and she was just dancing for him. He wanted her so much in that moment, he had never looked at Blair like that before, sure he had found her attractive, but tonight he saw a new found sense of freedom and confidence in Blair, which made her even more beautiful than she already was. Suddenly he felt like his place in the world had been altered, his perception of beauty heightened to a new level. A light had been sparked within, one that would never falter, only grow in strength and wonder.

"Who's that girl?" said one of his waitresses

"I have no idea" Chuck said honestly, not turning his gaze away from Blair for a second

* * *

Blair sat in the back of Chuck's black limo in disbelief, firstly at how she had gotten up on that stage tonight but then more importantly, how it had made her feel. She loved how independent and confident she was, like she wasn't a Waldorf but just some girl dancing and having fun, and she loved everyone watching her, wanting her, especially Chuck. She had never felt that way about Chuck before, he was always so smarmy and off-hand, but something had changed in him and the way he looked at her; he presented danger and excitement, and that was something Blair was interested in. She glanced over at him, longing to see whether she could catch a glimpse of what he was thinking or feeling, she decided to say something to get his attention.

"Thanks for lift home" she said.

Chuck ignored her comment, not because he wasn't interested, but because he was still spellbound by what he had seen that night, he had been replaying it in his head and was still in disbelief about the way Blair had acted and what feelings it had provoked in him.

"You were... amazing up there" Chuck's voice was deep and breathy and full of lust, he was trying his best to remain in control but with Blair sat next to him still in her negligee and the image of her dancing still in his mind, he quickly found his tough exterior melting away.

Blair was shocked by the look in his eyes, it was dark and sultry and seemed to exude directly into her, it was although he was trying to hypnotise her, and he virtually was. He stared so deeply into her eyes, Blair had never been looked at like that before, full of hunger and need. The power of his look made Blair shift closer to him, like magnets drawing her into the moment, she didn't know what she was doing anymore, she was losing control. But she felt so free at the same time and safe being close to Chuck, but she wasn't close enough, not nearly close enough.

She leaned in and their foreheads touched, the heat of each other's skin warming their own, both enjoying the intimacy they were sharing with each other. Chuck inhaled her scent deeply, it was sweet and delicate which not only was perfect for Blair but added to her already apparent beauty. He had been with many women before, but none had made him feel anything like what he was feeling now, he felt a connection and a need for Blair, he was silently begging for more.

Blair was finding the distance unbearable, she leaned closer so she could feel his breath against her cheek, and then suddenly it happened. She was kissing him with such passion she had never felt in her life, the touch of his warm plump lips sent what felt like electrical impulses around her body, the hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end. But then something was wrong, she felt him pull away from her, Blair opened her eyes desperately seeking a reason for why he had broken that magical moment.

"Are you sure?" he asked genuinely

If this was any other girl he wouldn't have given a damn, but with Blair it was different, he cared for Blair and wanted to protect her so put her feelings greater than his needs.

Blair was stunned at what he had just said, she thought he might have come out with some sarcastic comment, but he didn't, _"Are you sure?" _he was asking for Blair's permission which meant he cared for her, he respected her. At that moment she knew she was making the right choice, she was falling for Chuck and wanted to fall further. She wanted to share more intimacy with him than she had with anyone; she leaned in once more with more force and enthusiasm.

She felt like fireworks were being set alight inside her body, a burst of energy and lust previously unknown to her. The temperature in the limo must have tripled as Blair felt like her insides were melting, she had the strongest physical ache for Chuck, like she needed him to complete her. Blair was a virgin and had wanted to perfectly plan her first time, but this moment felt so right for her, Chuck was right for her.

And as the limo toured under the glittering stars and lights of New York City, Chuck and Blair's lust filled night had only just begun.

_A/N So that's my first chapter, I am very pleased I have managed to actually get going with it. Don't know whether it's good or not, any kind of reviews welcome x_


	2. Locked Hearts and Hand Grenades

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, I didn't think anyone would even read it! Sorry if this chapter is a bit confusing, but Chuck and Blair are confused themselves so that's why. Also sorry to Nate lovers. More reviews welcome! I really appreciate them :)

* * *

Blair took her first few steps into the schools' courtyard; she looked around for Serena, desperate to find her, praying she didn't bump into Chuck in the process. She didn't even know how she felt about Chuck, her head was all over the place, last night was like an out of body experience for her and now she was trying to make sense of everything. She had planned her and Nate together so many times her head, and now it was gone. Not only had she not slept with Nate but she had slept with his best friend - Chuck. No matter how many times she had replayed it in her head what had happened the night before she still couldn't understand why she had done what she did, she obviously meant nothing to him.

One thing was for sure, Chuck would have a smirk as wide as a cheshire cats today, knowing he was the one who took Blair Waldorfs virginity, "God!" she thought "how can I? Blair Waldorf be another one of Chuck Bass' many 'conquests'". Everything was different now, everything had changed and was out of control and she had no idea what to do about it.

"Blair! Hey… earth to Blair" called Serena

"Huh? Oh, Serena, it is _so_ good to see you" Blair sighed

Serena could tell from Blair's expression that something was wrong, she knew her best friend very well and Blair was definitely not at her happiest

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Um, no actually, but I'll sort it, it doesn't matter anyway"

"Are you sure? You know you can always trust me"

Blair didn't say anything but inside she knew she couldn't always trust Serena, this was the best friend who had slept with her boyfriend only last year and then left town, not only without apologising but without saying goodbye. Their friendship seemed to be back to how it was before, and Blair had forgiven both Serena and Nate, but she still found some of her insecurities with her and Nate's relationship rooting back to Serena, maybe that's why she had done what she had last night with Chuck. She hadn't experienced anyone in a long while wanting her, and only her, completely willing to forget about everything else in order to make her happy.

Blair was startled out of her thoughts when Serena shook her arm to get her attention

"Blair, you can tell me anything"

"Oh, it's nothing honestly, stop worrying S" Blair knew Serena wasn't particularly buying her excuse, but she couldn't admit to what she had done, she needed to figure that out herself first.

* * *

Chuck stepped out of his limo and adjusted his bow-tie, with the bright sunshine beaming down on his face he turned and smiled as he re-called some of the magical moments he had spent in there last night.

"Excellent driving skills last night George, here's a tip"

Chuck nodded and handed his chauffeur three times his weekly wages, not a usual occurrence by any means.

"Oh... well thank you sir" he bowed, stunned at his employers new found sense of generosity "I hope you had a good night"

"Oh I had a great night, and this is going to be any even greater day" Chuck smiled once again and made his way into school, he scanned the courtyard, but he couldn't see what he wanted and so made his way to class, hopefully he would find the object of his desire there.

Chuck walked into the classroom and his eyes were immediately drawn to where Blair was sitting, she was sat at her desk with her head in her hands. He desperately wanted to see her face to try and tell how she was feeling, about the night before, and about him. However she didn't look up, she continued to stare down at her desk, as though she was trying to hide herself completely. Chuck took his place in his seat next to Nate, watching Blair all the while, then suddenly a moment of realisation descended on Chuck. He had slept with his best friends girlfriend last night, his best friend; him and Nate were like brothers and neither of them had betrayed each other like this before, this was going to ruin everything if it came out, but Chuck was determined not to let that happen.

Nate was sat nervously rubbing his chin and staring at the back of Blairs head; Chuck turned to him and tried to appear his normal confident self.

"How's my main man Nathaniel?" Chuck said loudly

"Ugh" Nate sighed "Blair and I had another argument last night, now she's all pissed and won't speak to me"

"Well make her speak to you, you've got to charm women. Let them know they've won and you won't get anyway, haven't you learnt anything from the master?"

Chuck genuinely wanted Nate to talk to Blair about their relationship, but not so they could sort things out between them, but to find out how she felt about _him_. Chuck knew Blair better than else, all he had to do was look at her and he could tell her emotions and what she was about to do. And although he didn't like to admit it, Blair knew him in exactly the same way; sure Nate knew him pretty well as his best friend, but Blair was his harshest critic, yet knew exactly what to say to cheer him up. It was never really emotional between them before, they would have witty banter and argue, but they would secretly smile at how similar they were. I guess you could say they'd always had a connection, they would bring out the best of each other, it had been that way even since they were little.

That's why he was so desperate for her to just look at him, he needed to know what the hell was going on and whether she was feeling the same as he was.

"Her Blair... Blair" Nate said waiting for her to turn round

"What do you want from me?"

Chuck could instantly see she had been crying, she'd tried to cover it up with make-up but it hadn't worked, he saw the pained, heartbroken expression on her face, such a contrast to the bright and vivacious Blair of last night. He hated seeing Blair like this, she was never vulnerable but sat there staring at the two men who had caused her this heart-ache, she looked like her world was crashing down around her. He looked at Nate wondering how he was feeling and what he was going to say to her.

"Finally. What happened last night?" asked Nate casually

Blair looked a little shocked and hurt, she gulped. "What do you mean what happened last night?"

"You know, are we still ok?"

"Yes Nate, we're fine." she glanced purposely at Chuck "Last night meant nothing... That's what we do Nate, we fight and then we make up, I still love you"

Blair tried her best to smile, but it was taking so much effort, inside she just wanted to cry. She saw Chuck turn away and ignore them, while Nate just sat there with a smile and a vacant look upon his face, this was her boyfriend and he didn't even bother asking her how she was or why she was so upset. How could neither of them care at all about her, Nate was happy with a blatant lie that their relationship was fine, and Chuck couldn't even be bothered to be sarcastic to her.

_"Last night meant nothing... That's what we do Nate, we fight and then we make up, I still love you"_

Chucks insides clenched and he had to look away so that his expression couldn't be seen by either Blair or Nate. He didn't know what the hell he was feeling, but he knew hearing Blair say she still loved Nate hurt. He shook his head at his own stupidity, what had he expected? That as soon as he saw Blair she would run into his arms and forget all about Nate? They had been a couple, 'the couple' for over a year and they loved each other, what did he have, just some stolen moments with her in the back of a limo. It was clear she felt nothing for him, he had to try and get a grip of himself and go back to being himself again, he never acted like this over anyone.

* * *

The bell rang for the end of the lesson, Blair got up and walked out of the classroom as quick as she could, she tried to get out without anyone talking to her, she couldn't face anyone, she just wanted to be alone. She flung her bag over her shoulder and barged past a couple of people in the corridor, turning the corner quickly she almost crashed into her locker. This was the place she needed to go before she could leave, she just had to dump her books first, but when she did she was confronted with pictures of her and Nate covering the back of it. The pictures were taken about a year ago and both of them were smiling and looked incredibly happy with each other, Blair felt like a completely different person to the girl she saw in the photo. She looked away from them and put her books away hastily, slamming it shut afterwards, only to find Chuck leaning on the lockers next to her, he had obviously followed her straight away after she left.

"Go away Chuck" she said desperate not to cry.

"That's not what you were saying last night" he leaned in trying to get closer to her.

"Last night never happened"

"Really? So you don't mind me telling say... Nate, Gossip Girl and the whole school?"

"Yeah right, you wouldn't" she said trying to push past him. However Chuck wouldn't let her go that easily, he grabbed onto her wrist and tried to pull her back to him.

"Blair" he said in a more serious tone, he gripped slightly harder desperate to talk to her.

"Ow! Chuck you're hurting me, leave me alone" He let go straight away "What is your problem? Just treat last night like one of your many hook ups, I don't matter to you."

"Blair it wasn't like that"

"Yes it was" Blair snapped.

Blair had tears in her eyes but was determined to get a grip of herself and to get everything back in her control.

"I'm with Nate, I love him, always have, always will" She didn't even wait for a reply, she turned and started to walk away.

"Blair, wait, I ..."

She kept walking as fast as she could not looking back, she couldn't look at him, he was probably stood there laughing at her and the way she was acting, making a joke out of her.

But he wasn't, he just stood there watching her run away from him, he still didn't know how he felt about her; he wanted to be cruel to her, make a joke out of her, but he couldn't - it would hurt too much. He just stood there, looking at her desperate to get away from him - he had lost her and the worst thing was he never had her in the first place.

_A/N - Thanks for reading, hope you liked it x_


	3. The games that play us

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve some scenes from show in first few chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

(This chapter contains similar scenes to those in season one, so spoilers I guess)

**A/N:** **Major** apologies for how long it took me to update, I know it can be annoying I've just been really busy. But I hope this chapter is worth it, I really enjoyed writing it :) X More reviews welcome!

* * *

Blair had spent the last few days avoiding Nate - intentionally, things between them were never particularly good but now they just seemed to be getting even worse. She did care for Nate in a round about way, she just wasn't in love with him anymore, and recently she had been wondering whether she was ever truly in love with him in the first place, she was trying to push it to the back of her mind, but she couldn't. And, well there was Chuck. He had seemed genuinely concerned on their last encounter, but then again this was Chuck and he was probably still playing games with her, whether he had real feelings for her, and her him, was still unknown.

She did have a back-up plan though, to see how both of them felt about each other, all she needed was to talk to Nate - specifically in front of Chuck. She knew Chuck well and normally he didn't care when her and Nate showed affection for each other, he usually was thinking about other women anyway, but today she was going to rub-his face well and truly in it, maybe then she could get a reaction him.

* * *

Blair stood behind Nate by the row of trees surrounding the school's courtyard, she was dressed in a casual way ( that still meant high fashion for Blair), but she had made sure to look as irresistible as possible, the harder this could be for Chuck the better.

"Hey, Baby!" Blair said sweetly.

Chuck turned first, he was stood a little behind Nate, but Blair suspected that was not reason why he noticed before Nate did, she liked that Chuck payed attention to her, Nate just seemed to treat her like an accessory. But she couldn't be thinking about that now she had to concentrate on the arrangements.

Chuck hit Nate on the shoulder when he realised Blair's attention was unfortunately not on him and infact on Nate.

"Oh, hey" said Nate, he was leaning against a tree now with his hands in his pockets.

_"oh, hey" _Chuck almost laughed at his friends own stupidity, if Blair was his girlfriend stood in front of him excited to be there, he would not be saying "oh, hey", she would already be in his arms, and he would be greeting her in a _much_ friendlier way. Chuck snapped out of his day-dream and stopped to see how Blair would react to this.

Blair pushed herself up onto her tip-toes and lightly touched her hands on Nate's chest, leaning in closer she lightly but passionately kissed his lips, and to her surprise Nate was responding positively for once. Although she should have been feeling happy and lost with Nate, all she could think about was how Chuck was feeling and curiosity to see how he responded to them kissing. Blair opened her eyes and took one, long, judgemental look at Chuck. She expected him to look chagrin, or not bothered. But as soon as she gauged his expression she immediatley pulled away from Nate.

Chuck didn't look angry or annoyed at all, he looked well - sad. Blair had never seen him look like that before, dare she say it but Chuck Bass was actually looking vulnerable. She continued to stare at him and frowned a little to try and work out what was wrong.

He couldn't hold her gaze however, he was trying not to look bothered by their sudden display of affection, but he had a feeling he was failing. He knew he shouldn't, but he wished he was the one kissing Blair, holding her tightly to him, but he couldn't show or tell her this. He _had_ to try and put those thoughts out of his mind.

"I was wondering whether you wanted to go out tonight Nate, just some quality me and you time" Blair once again tried to gage Chuck's reaction, but now he just stood there emotionless staring at the ground.

"Yeah whatever. Oh wait, didn't we have plans tonight Chuck?"

Chuck looked up slightly shocked, first at how someone had finally involved him in the situation and secondly at why Nate was turning down a romantic night with Blair - something he couldn't comprehend.

"I..." seeing the look on Blair's face gave Chuck an idea, if she was trying to appear as though she didn't care about him, he could do the same. Lets see how Blair felt about being played at her own game.  
"Actually no, I don't think so Nathaniel, I'll be _entertaining _tonight" he said with a smirk "The last few women I've met _really _didn't cut to my standard, so I thought I'd try to find some with better class ... and beauty" he looked at Blair, Chuck knew he had pushed it too far, of course he knew he hadn't meant any of it, but still the harsh edge in his voice even shocked himself.

"Uh...ok. Guess we can we can go out tonight then" Nate replied confused at Chucks sudden outburst.

"Great, I'll look forward to it, love you" she tried to say the words automatically back to Nate as she knew she had to keep up her plan but he voice gave it away and broke off with hurt at the end of the sentence. She felt like she had just been just been punched in the ribcage and all the air had left her. She expected Chuck to play her game back, try to make her jealous as well perhaps, but she didn't expect he was going to be that cruel about it. I guess it was obvious now then that the night she had spent with Chuck did mean something to her, and that what Chuck felt about her did matter. However now she knew that the way she was feeling was blatantly one sided which made her feel even more stupid. She shook her head a little to try and stop her emotions taking over, hot prickling tears were forming so she turned quickly to walk away before either of them noticed.

"I have to go as well" Chuck said abruptly, he eyes still locked on Blair.

"Ok man, see you later"

Chuck knew he would be too late to catch up with Blair on foot so he whistled to his chaffeur indicating that he needed to go somewhere urgently.

"George, can we head to the Waldorf's now" He needed to speak to Blair, he couldn't stand the sight of her being so upset and knowing that he had caused it, and maybe the fact that she was upset by what he had said could mean she had feelings for him after all - or at least he was hoping.

* * *

Blair raced to home straight away, she knew that neither Chuck or Nate were going to follow her to see what was wrong, and she knew people were staring at her, but she didn't care. Everything in her life seemed to be upside down at the moment and she just wanted to get away from it and be herself, at home she could just forget about being a Waldorf or Nate's girlfriend and just be Blair. She arrived home quicker than she imagined and threw her coat and bag down on the fur rug, she didn't care if it would crease her designer jacket she just wanted to be alone. Dorota rushed up to her before she had a chance to slip away and not let anyone know what was wrong.

"Miss Blair, someone urgent for you"

"No, whoever it is Dorota, I'm tired and can't face anyone, please send them away" she said desperately

"But Mr Bass very upset - emergency"

"What?" Blair said in confusion, "Chuck's here?" How the hell could he be here, she practically ran away from him, did he even want to humiliate her further?

"No, I don't want to see him. Please send him away"

"Blair!" Chuck called, he was forcing his way into the lounge where Blair and Dorota were

"Go away Chuck, I have nothing to say to you"

"But I have something to say to you, please can we talk, just for five minutes then I'll leave"

Blair was hesitant but curiosity took over as she was debating to why he was there to see her in the first place.

"Fine, but let's go out onto the balcony, that way I can push you off if you annoy me further"

The edge of Chucks lips tightened as he tried to withhold a smile, he followed her out onto the balcony into the mid-day sun, from here he could see for miles all the way to central park but instead he was entirely focused on Blair and what he had to say to her.

"Look, what I said earlier" he began

"What? You want to say more, about how pathetic and ugly I am to you? About how I meant nothing, we meant nothing?"

"No, sorry, I didn't mean any of it, it's just you were forcing you and Nate in my face and I couldn't take it alright, sometimes Blair you can give it out but you can't take it back"

"You couldn't take seeing Nate and I? What? Me and Nate are perfect together, he knows that, I know that, why can't you accept it?"

"All this talk about you and Nate having to be together or the world will end, face it it's over"

"You sound like a jealous boyfriend"

"Yeah right, you wish" Chuck said almost nervously, looking away.

"No," Blair recognised that look of Chucks and it made her surprisingly happy "You wish" she said in realisation.

"Please you forget who you're talking to" Chuck knew Blair didn't feel the same way about him and to watch her embarrass him was mortifying.

"So do you...Do you, like me?" Blair was nervously anticipating his answer, oh god, she was just going to get rejected all over again.

"Define like" Chuck cringed as he looked at Blair trying to tell her how he felt without actually saying it.

Blair let out a single laugh and looked out over the balcony, he actually liked her, this wasn't one sided after all. She knew she shouldn't be feeling it but Blair was feeling completely overwhelmed and ecstactic at the same time, she was trying her best not to look pleased by his answer. But inside she was revelling in the fact that Chuck actually wanted her.

"Ha!" he chuckled "You like me too, don't you" He could see by the look of her face that what he had said did not annoy her but infact made her happy, she was trying to hide it, but her emotions were clear to him.

"What? No. I'm with Nate" She didn't say it as a rejection, more of a realisation, she was with Nate, her and Nate were the couple, she couldn't just give that up because Chuck Bass had decided that for today he liked her. Even though she did like Chuck, want Chuck, she knew that to him it would just be a fling. Blair had gaurded herself all her life and she couldn't just give that up for a sudden desire she felt.

"You don't belong with Nate, never have, never will" Chuck knew she was building up her walls and he desperately wanted to be allowed in.

"I, I can't do this, not now, I have a date tonight ... with Nate" she needed time to figure out what she wanted.

"Fine, you go out with Nate, and I'll go out as well tonight, but I know you'll be thinking of me. Every time he doesn't know how you're feeling, every time he ignores something you say," Chuck leaned in to Blair, he lightly placed his hand on her shoulder "you'll think of me." he could instantaneously feel the goose bumps she had under his fingertips, "And every time you kiss him..." he leaned in closer so that his lips were touching the side of her jaw, lightly he traced them up towards her ear. He could hear her let out a small moan. "You'll think of me" he said, his voice practically a whisper but still sultry and hoarse with lust.

And with a slight chuckle he turned around and left without saying another word, Blair stood completely speechless - and that never happened. She could still feel the heat across the side of her face which he had left, and the goose bumps she was praying he couldn't feel were still apparent as ever. Had Chuck really just said that he liked her? And more to the point did she just realise she liked him? Blair stood motionless, was it even possible for her to be more confused? One thing was clear - her plan had worked.

_A/N - I am going on holiday next week but intend to write while I'm away so it won't be so long between updates. Next chapter will be Chuck and Blair both out on their dates- and a lot of the confusion they feel will become clear. Hope you all liked, reviews please x_

_also does Blair live in an apartment? I got really confused._


	4. Every night's another story

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

**A/N:** Sorry it took long to update, this chapter flicks quite a lot between Chuck and Blair's evening's, read and enjoy x

Blair stood infront of the large gold mirror at the far end of her walk in wardrobe, it had taken her a full hour and a half to decide what to wear, and even now she couldn't seem to focus on what shoes to wear with it. It wasn't that she was nervous for what she would look like for Nate, she just simply had to try and distract herself from the over-whelming fluttering in her stomach. Butterflies were one of Blair's favourite animals but these she were feeling felt more like giant moths. Only a few hours ago Chuck was standing infront of her telling her that she meant something to him, and although Blair was trying to put it to the back of her mind, she couldn't help but embrace the nervous excitement she felt about him.

But her limo was just about to arrive to take her out on her date, 'damn it!' she thought, just the mention of a limo sent her on a completely different trail of thoughts. She smoothed down her pale blue cocktail dress and grabbed any random purse she could get her hands on, it's not like Nate would notice anyway.

"Blair, darling" Eleanor called "Nathaniel's limo is here"

"Ok, mother" she sighed frustratingly

Blair took one last look at herself in the mirror and tried to practise her fake smile, she was sure she was going to be wearing one frequently when she was around Nate. She sighed once more, this was going to be a long night.

* * *

Chuck stood in the hallway of his penthouse looking in the mirror, he was surprised by the look on his face, he hadn't seen himself look so happy in a long time. The interaction with Blair earlier had gone a lot better than expected, he thought she would push him away at any moment but when she didn't he knew there was something there between them, he just had to get her to realise it. Just remembering the way her silky skin felt to him and her breath on his neck sent an even bigger smile across his face.

"Someone looks cheerful for once, what's all that about?" Serena almost bounced up behind him and looked into the mirror as well checking her hair.

Chuck didn't actually know what to say, being happy was not something he was not used to, so he just laughed.

"Geeze, laughing too, Now something really must be up"

"I'm fine sis" he chuckled as Serena cringed at the word "I'm going out tonight, that's all"

"Oh I see, going to pick up some dumb debutantes is it?"

"Not really" He didn't actually know what he had planned for tonight, but he knew picking up women would be the last thing on his agenda, he smiled and walked out of the door picking up his jacket on the way out.

"Huh? Chuck, what..." Serena called after him in confusion.

"Wait and see sis, wait and see" he turned back to wink at her once and then shut the door behind him.

* * *

Blair sat back in her chair and yawned, at once she realised how rude that must have looked but when she looked at Nate he was just staring at one of the waitresses in passing. Their dates were normally not that eventful but this one felt like a school assembly rather than a romantic night out with a boyfriend. They had been sat there now for half an hour and yet the conversation could only add up to about two minutes worth, with any other person this would feel awkward Blair thought. But it seemed that Nate didn't even notice, or perhaps he just didn't want to talk to Blair, either way it wasn't making the silence any less bearable for her.

"What are you thinking?" Blair finally asked after she couldn't take any more of the silence.

"Um nothing much, just hungry that's all" Blair sighed frustrated at his lack of meaningful words.

"Why are you with me Nate?"

"Um, we're on a date. You invited me" he said puzzled.

"No, I mean why are we together?" Blair bit her lip, she didn't know where she was going with this, she just felt like it had to be said.

"We've always been together, that's the way it is"

Blair was starting to get angry now, not all at Nate, but partially at herself for believing that this relationship was in any way loving or meaningful.

"Where's this all come from" Nate said paying a bit more attention to Blairs mood.

"I just don't get you sometimes, I don't get us. I mean, why do you want me Nate? You could have anyone, why do you want me?"

"I don't know, I just do. And you're hot"

He tried to smirk at Blair but it was nothing in comparison to the notorious smirk she knew and preferred. Needless to say that was not the answer she was looking for.

* * *

Chuck sat back in his chair and yawned, he was in Victrola watching the nightly burlesque show being performed. He stared at the girls on stage in front of him, but he wasn't looking at them, he was remembering the night Blair had got up there and danced for him. She was beautiful and untouched , he knew in that moment he had to have her, and not in a one night stand sort of way. With Blair he wanted more, he wasn't sure what exactly he wanted yet but he knew he couldn't stop thinking about her, all he wanted was to be with her again.

"Why hello Mr Bass" one of the numerous girls he had encountered in the past sat down next to him, he couldn't remember her name but he didn't honestly care. It's not like she had any potential at all to him now.

She sat with her chest pushed forward, with a quick motion she flung her extension clad hair behind her shoulder. As Chuck looked at her he was baffled to why he had ever found her remotely attractive in the first place, he couldn't even see what she looked like under all the thick make-up she had on. She was looking at him from beneath her long eyelashes and smiling suggestively, her leg slipped out from the slit in her revealing dress and started to rub Chuck's leg.

"I don't know who you think you are, but I think it's clear that I would never look twice at you" he smiled wryly at her "Now, run along wannabe." He frowned to show he was serious but smirked when she looked horrified and started to skulk away.

"Jerk" she spat out.

Chuck laughed and took a swig from his champagne, as if he would ever look at girls like that again.

* * *

Blair twirled the top of the salt pot around in her fingers, she knew what she shouldn't be thinking about but it just kept reappearing in her mind. It wasn't as though Nate was paying particular attention to her - surprise, surprise. She had asked for quality Blair and Nate time, but that just meant Nate and Nate time to him. He was so clouded in his own world thinking everything was perfect, she didn't know how she had put up with him for so long. She knew she shouldn't be thinking about him, but she couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if Chuck was sat in front of her instead. He would be looking at her in a completely different way to how Nate did, she loved the way Chuck looked at her, like she was a sparkling diamond that dazzled him constantly. Or even just the way he looked at her when they were having a normal conversation, like he was hanging on her every word and always looking for something to say to tease her or make her laugh...

"What are you smiling at?" Nate asked

"Oh, um" Blair was caught off guard as well as shocked that Nate had started a conversation for once "Nothing, I just want to get out of here, are you done?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll go pay and I'll meet you outside"

Blair nodded as she picked up her purse to check her phone, she was shocked to find they had only been there for little over an hour, she sighed and wondered whether Chuck was having a better night.

* * *

He wasn't. Infact he had given up on his night out at about ten o'clock, had he ever come home from a night out that early before? He didn't really care if he was being honest, the only reason he went out was to try and distract himself from thinking about Blair and Nate together, and that hadn't worked. So why not just go home and drink there.

He walked through the front door and threw his jacket on the floor, he walked over to his fathers antique cabinet and reached down a bottle of expensive, strong brandy and an equally high-priced crystal glass.

"Someone's home early!"

Chuck jumped slightly and dropped the glass he reached for he watched as it hit the cabinet with a clatter and then bounced onto the floor almost in slow motion.

"Jesus Serena, can't you go annoy Humphrey instead of me?" He said picking up the surprisingly unbroken glass and pouring himself a double measure.

"Oh, touchy, guessing tonight didn't go as planned. Some girl finally turned you down"

"Why do you always assume that's what I'm looking for?" He was serious now and looked Serena directly in the eye. It actually was annoying him, why did everyone think there was only one level to him, Blair was the only one who seemed to see him for who he was.

Serena looked taken aback by his words and stared at a little longer in confusion, Chucks expression appeared calm but she could see a small sense of hurt in his eyes.

"That's you Chuck. Money and women are what you care about ... Anyway, are you going to tell me why you were so happy earlier?" She was trying to lighten the mood from the strange interaction they had just had.

"I wasn't..."

Chuck was going to continue but Serena's phone started buzzing from the coffee table.

"Hold that thought" she walked over to the table, flipped open her phone and held it to her ear.

Chuck was glad for an excuse to avoid any more conversation with Serena tonight so turned to leave the room and have some peace. But something Serena had just said had caught his attention.

"It's only half ten, stay a little longer" she said laughing

Chuck looked at her questiongly, but Serena just shook her head and laughed.

"No!" Serena said shocked but still with a smile on her face "It can't be that bad, what's really wrong?"

"Who is it?" Chuck said frustrated

"Shut up" Serena looked at Chuck and held a finger up to silence him. "No, not you B"

A wide grin spread across Chuck's face as he realised who Serena was talking to and what about. So Blair was leaving her date early? And it went badly, very badly from watching Serena's reaction, suddenly Chuck's earlier displeasure and frustration vanished as he realised what this could mean...

"Hold on a minute B. What are you so happy about now!" Serena was smiling at Chuck but she was slightly frustrated to know why the normal nonchalant Chuck Bass was acting so emotional today.

"It looks like tonight's got a lot better for me"

He smiled and chuckled again, then taking a long swig of brandy he turned and walked quickly out of the room to avoid any more of Serena's questions.

* * *

"Who's happy?" Blair was getting confused by Serena.

"Oh it's Chuck that's all, I don't know what's got into him"

"Chuck's home already?" Blair's mind was racing, she wondered (more hoped) that the reason Chuck was so happy was down to her.

"Yeah, I don't think he had a good night but he came in, heard me talking to you and... wait, do you know what's going on with him?" Serena said trying to fit the pieces together.

"Me? No. It's Chuck - who knows" Blair spoke so quickly even she could hear the untruth in her voice "anyway, what do you think I should do about Nate?"

"Oh, I don't know Blair, I'm sure you'll figure it out" _Great advice Serena, _Blair thought sarcastically.

"Right, well he's coming now, gotta go"

"Good luck!"

Blair snapped the phone shut before Nate could see she had been using it, she didn't know why, she just felt the less complications tonight - the better.

"Hey, your driver's pulled up now, I've gotta go meet my dad so I'm taking his car." Nate said walking up to her.

"Oh, alright, thanks"

"I better go actually, dad hates it when I'm late"

"Ok, goodnight then"

"Night, babe"

Uh-oh. Now was the moment Blair had been nervous about, after her interaction with Chuck earlier she was determined not to let his words get to her too much - _"you'll think of me". _And he was right, god damn him, Blair _was _thinking about him. Nate leaned in closer to kiss her goodbye, Blair leaned forward and tried to clear her mind. She was with her boyfriend Nate, they were comfortable together, she could do this. And before she knew it Nate was kissing her, she tried her best to respond but it was just, just - wrong. The kiss was casual and emotionless, his lips beneath her not eager, but almost lazy. She was taken back to when Chuck had kissed her in the limo, the way he looked at her, the way he held her, was perfect - and the emotions it sparked within her were imaginable. And thinking back to this Blair knew what she had to do, perhaps it was wrong, perhaps it wouldn't work out, but she had to do it. She instantly pulled away from Nate.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore Nate" she said quickly but confidently.

"What's wrong?" Nate looked a little angry.

"_This _is wrong. We're wrong" She bit her lip

"What the hell? Are you breaking up with me?"

Blair just stared at him blankly. "I don't know"

"You don't know" Nate laughed but he didn't find it funny.

"I have to go"

"Well wait..."

"I'll talk to you about it tomorrow Nate, I can't do this anymore."

And with that Blair turned and raced towards her limo, there were so many thoughts running through her head but none of them seemed appropriate for the moment. She should be feeling upset, anxious, perhaps heartbroken, but all she could feel was relief. Relief that her terrible date was over, relief at knowing how Chuck truly felt about her and how he had had an unenjoyable night. And finally but most importantly relief that tomorrow she was going to officially break up with Nate Archibald.

_A/N- Big thanks for all of the reviews, they are all really nice and I really appreciate them. Next update ASAP :)  
Also I realise "questiongly" isn't a word but I'm making it one now._


	5. Babe I'm gonna leave you

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

A/N- Thanks again for the great response, I am back at school next week but I will try to update ASAP :)

Blair was astounded how confident she was being about the whole situation, she was going to have a quick breakfast, then arrange to meet Nate - and then dump him. The Blair in the past would have been horrified, she was always so desperate for a future with Nate, even a family. But now she realised that she had been deluded, Nate had never been interested in any of that, and the future plans had only been implanted in her by her mother. Blair wanted a new future now, an exciting, unplanned one, and hopefully Chuck would be involved somewhere. Ever since the night she spent with him, she'd felt like a new person, younger and happier if possible. He brought out the best in her and oddly enough she thought that she did the same for him. She so desperately wanted to explore this new future, but first she had to cut her ties from the old Blair.

She walked over to the large window in the sitting room, flipped open her silver phone and pressed 1 on speed dial, she made a mental note to change that at a later date.

"Hey, Nate" she tried to say as casually as possible when he answered.

"Oh, hey. What do you want?"

Blair rolled her eyes at his blasé attitude and perhaps rudeness, this was going to be easier than she had imagined.

"Can I meet with you this morning?"

"I guess, where"

"Um, in our spot in Central Park?"

"Okay, I'll be there in half an hour."

"Oh, yeah I'll see you there then" _No time for breakfast_ she thought

"Love you" Nate said with a casual tone, as he was simply ending the phone call in their usual way, but Blair froze at the words. She couldn't say _love you_ back and then break up with him half an hour later, she wouldn't mean it anyway.

"Bye" she said too quickly, Nate probably wouldn't even notice she thought.

Snapping the phone shut she sighed and pressed it to her lips, why wasn't she feeling nervous? Perhaps that told her she was definitely making the right decision. She wondered how Nate would take it though, a small part of her believed he had never really gotten over Serena, so he probably wouldn't be too crushed. No doubt everyone would know about it in an hours time anyway, someway or somehow Gossip Girl was sure to find out. She wasn't too bothered about it if she was being honest, but then again if Gossip Girl knew, so would Chuck, and that was something to be bothered about.

She took a deep breath in, "let's get it over with then" she whispered to herself and made her way out the front door.

* * *

Nate was already there by the time Blair had reached their spot on the bench looking over the lake, it was where they used to meet up with each other on sunny afternoons. They would never really talk much, just sit and watch the world go by in each other's company. But now they needed to talk, things were different now and they needed to change along with them. The sun shone down on Blairs face but the light breeze whipped through her hair as she sat down on the bench next to Nate.

"Nice day isn't it?" Nate said quite happily - _oh dear_, Blair thought, her previous assumption at how easy this would be had now changed.

"Yeah," Blair looked over the lake, she watched as she saw two swans gracefully take flight in the centre gaining passer bys attention "That's not why I'm here though Nate"

"Oh I know"

"You do?" said Blair quizzically

"Well after last night I'm guessing you're going to break up with me" he looked at Blair with an expression she couldn't recognise "Am I right?"

"Well... yes" Blair grimaced in a visual apology

Nate looked out in front of him not saying anything, the silence ebbed on as Blair grew evermore uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, trying to get any kind of reaction from him

"It's ok"

"It is?" Blair said incredulously

"Blair, when we first started going out everything was great, we were two people being who we wanted to be - together. But after time I guess we grew up - and apart. Neither of us treated each other the way we should and I guess it's time that ended, I'm sorry really. I don't blame you"

Blair sat stunned looking at Nate, that perhaps was the first time he had been completely honest about their relationship, hell it had been the first time he had been completely honest with Blair. He never spoke like that around her, she always presumed he thought everything was fine, she obviously didn't know him as well as she thought.

"What?" he looked confused at Blair's stunned face.

"I, I just never thought you felt like that. That you felt the same way"

"I don't tell everyone everything"

She didn't quite understand what he meant but his face grew more uncharacteristically thoughtful.

"Can I ask one question?"

Blair simply nodded, she owed him that.

"Is there anyone else?"

She gulped "No. would you mind if there was?"

"I don't know. I do think we should both try and move on though"

_Yes- to your best friend._ Blair thought before she could stop herself. "Mmm, I agree"

"So I wonder who Gossip Girl will think dumped who" Nate laughed

She was glad he had lightened the situation "Oh definitely you dumping me, that's what everyone'll think"

"How about we say it ended mutually" he decided

"Oh, can't we pretend we're sworn enemies?" Blair joked "Or we could just be friends - see how that works out"

"Yeah, friends. I can deal with that"

"Well look, I've got to go, but thanks for being so understanding"

"It doesn't happen often" He smiled but Blair could see the truth behind his eyes, he sighed "I'll see you around then"

"Yeah you will, Goodbye Nate"

He nodded and smiled once again, Blair turned and put her bag over shoulder. Considering everything, it had certainly gone better than she thought it would. She was glad he had appeared to taken it so well, the old Blair would have been hurt by his attitude but now she felt genuinely pleased for him. For once she felt completely free to be whoever she wanted to be, and as she was walking away from Nate she felt like she was walking towards the future.

* * *

Chuck stared down at his food, he wasn't hungry at all but was forced to stay at the table out of politeness. Lily had insisted he and his father have dinner with them for a sort of 'family bonding', he hated it of course but did enjoy taunting Serena about being his new sister. He wasn't even listening to the idle chatter that was going on, all of it was irrelevant and uninteresting to him.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard Serena say his name "Chuck, can you pass the salt"

He reached out and passed it to Serena without even looking at her.

"Charles don't be rude" His father said sternly

Chuck didn't apologise he just tutted and went back to pushing his food round his plate with his fork.

"What is up with you recently?" Serena said suddenly turning to Chuck.

"Nothing for you to be worried about" He didn't really know why he was snapping at her, he just felt completely out of place with them all.

"Well that's-" she was interrupted by a small beeping noise coming from Eric.

"Eric, turn that off at the table" Lily said

"What? It might be an emergency." He took his phone out of his pocket and pressed a few buttons to see what had caused the distraction."Oh it's just Gossip Girl..."

"I detest that thing, can't she focus on her own life instead of spreading rumours about other people's" Lily said

"Whoa, that's unexpected" Eric said with a shocked expression

"What is it?" Serena said looking over as Bart tutted.

"It's about Blair and Nate"

Chucks attention was suddenly grasped as he looked up to see what the message was about.

"Read it out" he tried not to sound too bothered but the eagerness of his voice shone through.

"Ok... **Well, Well, Upper East Sider's, it seems the reign of B and N as the power couple has come to an end. B seen royally dumping Nate in a brief encounter in Central Park. I wonder what - or who has made B seen the light. I'll be sure to find out. Gossip Girl xoxo.**"

"Blair said they were going through a rough patch but I didn't expect this" Serena said uncomprehendingly

However Chuck did not hear her, he was too busy in his own thoughts. Blair had dumped Nate? A rush of emotions flooded through him, mainly shock, but he was mostly aware of the extreme increase of fluttering in his stomach. He knew he shouldn't presume it but surely it has something to do with him? Or was it just a rumour? Even if Blair did like him, she'd still loved Nate for over a year, she was always so desperate for a future with him. So what was so important that made her change her mind? He couldn't take not knowing any longer, he had to find out - now.

"I have to go, immediately" Chuck said quietly but completely serious.

"Nate can wait until the morning" said Bart

"I'm sorry father, but it's necessary"

"Let him go Bart, it's fine" Chuck made a mental note to thank Lily at a later date "Wear a coat though it's raining badly outside"

He didn't even wait to hear what his father said, as soon as Lily was on his side, his father would be too. He would have left anyway, there was no chance anyone was stopping him from going to see Blair now. The fluttering grew even more stronger in his stomach as he thought of the possibilities tonight could bring.

* * *

There was a knock on Blair's door, it was harsh and frantic, what the hell did her mother want now? Surely her mother had not found out about her and Nate already. She got up stroppily and went to the door pulling it open in one quick swipe, she was so shocked she took a step back and nearly fell over her closet.

"So you and Nate broke up?" Chuck said leaning against the doorframe.

Blair was both thrilled and slightly annoyed at the same time, he was being very casual and was that a smirk on his face.

"So what's it to you?"

"It didn't have anything to do with us?" Chuck asked confidently but underneath he was anxious for her answer.

"No" She wasn't going to make it that easy for him

"Oh, come on stop hiding your feelings Blair, I know you" He took a step closer to her, forcing her to back against the wall.

"Back off Chuck" she didn't want it to happen like this, not yet anyway.

Ignoring Blair's comment Chuck did the opposite, he took her face between his hands and crushed his lips to hers forcing her completely back against the wall. If she wasn't going to listen to him he would show her how he felt. At first she responded positively kissing him back for a second but then he felt her struggle beneath him, he was getting mixed messages and he didn't know what to do. Suddenly she broke away from him and he felt a sharp smack against the side of his face.

She didn't mean to hit him so hard but everything seemed wrong, she wasn't going to be forced into anything by him even if she did like what might happen. She looked up at Chuck expecting him to make some kind of retort, or perhaps try to kiss her again, but he just stood there looking at her. A mixture of emotions washed over his features, shock, confusion, then hurt.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I thought you felt the same way" he mumbled

The anguish on his face was almost painful to watch, he began to back away and head towards the door.

"Chuck, wait"

"No. You deserve better than this. You deserve better than me" He took one last meaningful look at Blair and then turned and left the room before she could say anything else to him. She thought she heard him mumble 'idiot' to himself but she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice properly. What was he talking about? She didn't deserve better than him, he deserved someone better than her. So what if he was a bit forceful? He was just trying to show his affection and yet she slapped him. Blair was growing angrier with herself as she replayed her actions in her head. And now he thought she didn't feel the same way about him, she flinched at the memory at how upset he had looked when he said it.

No. She couldn't just accept this, she wasn't going to lose him. He was right she had been fearing and hiding her emotions for too long now, she had to face up and tell the truth. She was going to find Chuck and tell him exactly how she felt.

_A/N - I think you're going to like the next chapter, it's what I've been waiting for anyway! Reviews are really nice and helpful so keep them coming ;)_


	6. The wind that blew my heart away

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

**A/N- **This may be my last update for a while as I have lots of other things going on, but It is not finished at all and I am going to try my best to update as soon as I can.

(I got a bit carried away writing this, but with characters like Chuck and Blair who can blame me?)

Blair sat in the back of the taxi tapping her foot impatiently, Chuck had too much of a headstart on her so she had to follow him in a cab. She sat staring out of the window as the heavy rain pounded against the glass, the storm outside was getting even worse now, she shoud be safe indoors but she had to find Chuck and tell him everything. She didn't know exactly how she was going to do it or what she would say, she was just concentrating on finding Chuck. She was literally praying he had gone back to his hotel suite as that's where she was heading. Blair wasn't really religious and didn't pray but at times like this she felt like she needed all the extra help she could get.

Suddenly she felt the taxi begin to slow, she looked around frantically and snapped into action as she recognised the familiar surroundings of the Bass's hotel. Grabbing a wad of money out of her purse she all but threw it at the taxi driver.

"Woah, this is triple the fare miss" the driver said turning to Blair

"I don't care, take it. I have to go" she opened the door as she told him.

"Thanks! Be safe in that weather now!"

Blair wasn't paying attention to what he was saying, she was too focused on getting out of the taxi and getting to the hotel entrance. But as she ran through the courtyard she realised the driver was right to warn her about the weather. She had only been out of the taxi a few seconds but already she was drenched. Just as she made it to the revolving doors a large lightening flash lit up the skyline, she took it as a good side from God. She ran across the lobby and dashed into the open elevator in front of her, nearly knocking a man dressed in uniform over.

"Which floor my dear?" the porter said

"Chucks, uh, Mr Bass's" she corrected herself

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid Mr Bass isn't accepting any visitors tonight"

"To Hell he is, I need to speak with him, I know he was just here"

"He said no-one"

"Look, It is imperitive I see Chuck now. You can either press the damn button or so help me I will throw you out of this elevator" she glared fiercely at him showing the seriousness of the situation.

"Fine, Ok!" He pressed the level button and shook his head at Blair's reaction

The 57 seconds it took Blair to get from the ground floor to Chuck's level felt like some of the longest in Blair's life. All she could think about was whether Chuck would forgive her and finally explaining everything to him. She tried not to think about what might happen afterwards incase she got her hopes up but the butterflies in her stomach were not going to be hidden. Finally the elevator doors opened, she threw a quick sarcastic smile at the porter and began to run down the short corridor. She cursed herself for wearing her Cavalli's as they were not making the situation any easier.

* * *

Chuck sat on the edge of his bed in his hotel suite with his head in his hands, he was silently cursing himself for the way he had let the evening unfold. Why had he just rushed in and forced himself upon Blair? She had only just broken up with Nate, he was stupid to think she would just run into his arms. He had been right earlier, she was too good for him, what had he done to possibly deserve someone as beautiful and smart as Blair? He'd blown it now anyway, Blair obviously didn't want him anymore.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a loud, quick tapping noise at his door, he groaned, who the hell wanted him now? Hadn't he said he didn't want any visitors tonight?

"Chuck!"

He froze as he heard the words, he would recognise that sparkling voice anywhere. What was Blair doing here? There was a ferocious storm outside, surely she hadn't come all the way here just to see him?

"Chuck I know you're in there, please let me in" she cried, the desperation in her voice mirrored his emotions.

He stood up from the bed quickly and made his way over to the door.

"Blair?" He breathed, his forehead pressed against the door, he knew it was her but he couldn't really believe she was actually there.

"Yes! It's me. Please let me in, I'm so sorry..."

He didn't reply, he didn't even know whether he physically could. His breathing was growing frantic as he fumbled with the gold chain on the lock, finally it clicked out of place and Chuck gulped before swinging the door open.

Blair stood in front of him with a look of desperation and sorrow on her face, her hair was dripping wet and clinging to her neckline- yet to him she was still absolutely stunning. But before he had time to take in any more of her appearance she had flung her arms around his neck and was kissing him with such force he nearly collapsed. He had no time to think about what this meant, he was concentrating on remembering how perfect this moment was.

Blair's head was swimming as the surge of raw emotion flowed through her. Her lips moving just as enthusiastically and passionately his, she raised her hand to cup his face and kissed him harder than before. Just the feel of his smooth, warm skin underneath her hand made her tremble. She felt his hand move down to the small of her back pulling her closer to him, she was all too willing to comply as she felt once again how perfectly their bodies fit against one another. But suddenly in a horrifying deja vu she felt him pull away from her with a concerned look upon his face.

"Wait" he breathed looking intensely into her eyes "I need to apologise for earlier, I didn't mean to-"

"I know, don't worry, I'm sorry too" she tried to pull closer to him, missing the moment of closeness they had just shared. But Chuck sighed and went over to the bed, not sure whether this was a good or bad sign Blair followed and sat down next to him. She leaned in to kiss him again but drew back when she saw the look on his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked nervously "don't you... want me anymore?"

Chuck let out a short laugh and shook his head "Blair, I could never stop wanting you, even if I tried. But that's the problem," he grasped fot the right words "- I want you more than I should... I want you more than you want me"

"That's not true"

"Then what was earlier about"

"I know, I'm sorry you just took me by surprise-"

"I didn't mean that. You only just broke up with Nate this morning. I know you still have feelings for him, I don't want to be a re-bound Blair"

"Is that what you think?" said Blair incredulously

Chuck didn't answer but just stared at the floor, clenching his jaw.

"Listen to me Chuck Bass. That night we spent together was the best night of my life, it was so magical, so perfect. You changed me Chuck, the way you made me feel-"

"So what?" Chuck interrupted "You went straight back to Nate, you didn't want me after that"

"I only went back to Nate because I was confused, I presumed you wouldn't even be interested in me. I thought you would move on and I would just be another one of your conquests."

Blair stared deeply into his eyes, she just wanted him to believe everything she was saying, she just wanted to be with him. "But I _couldn't _stop thinking about you, every time you saw me with Nate - I was just trying to make you jealous. I kneeded to know whether you felt the same about me" she felt hot prickling tears emerge.

"Don't be upset, I'm sorry. I just needed to know what was going on, how you felt. I'm not very good at letting people in, it was always like that growing up and then I met someone who finnally understands me." He turned to look Blair directly in the eye, he raised his hand and stroked her cheekbone cupping her face in his hand "You're not a conquest to me, you're a lot more. I've fallen for you Blair."

He leaned in slower this time, no more words were needed, he looked intensely into Blairs eyes and was relieved that finally everything was in the open, they both knew how each other felt. Now all they had to do was be together, and that was something they were all to willing too do.

Blair could feel her heart hammering in her chest, everything Chuck had said seemed to have made it double in size. She leaned in to close the unbearable distance between them, she pressed her lips carefully to his. This kiss was different to their last, it was softer and more gentle, their lips moving together as one as they both relished in the fact they could finally be together.

Slowly Chuck parted his lips and traced the line of her mouth with his tongue, Blair responded enthusiastically and pushed herself closer to him. Slowly she moved her hand up to unbutton the collar of his shirt, she pulled away from his lips and began to place hot open mouthed kisses along his jaw and down his throat. She fumbled with a few more buttons until Chucks hands reached down to lightly grasp them. "Let me do it" he chuckled softly and pulled her favourite Chuck Bass smirk, his voice was deeper now, more hoarse and lustfilled. He couldn't take his eyes away from Blair as he undid his shirt. When it was finally undone she was quick to rip it off his shoulders and back, she placed her hands on his chest and traced the perfect planes of his muscles.

Chuck let out a low groan at the feel of her small warm hands touching him, he reached out and pulled her closer to him. He was not so tender this time, there was a new edge of over-powering lust and desperation in him now, he needed Blair. He didn't think feelings like this were even possible before now, sex before Blair was just sex. But being with her here, being completely honest with each other and having her want him and only him - felt like heaven.

He tilted her head carefully so he could kiss her neck, she smelt so good in the rain, like moist rose petals. He moved further down to kiss along her collarbone, he was encouraged further by the sounds of her soft moans. "Stay with me tonight" he murmured against her soft skin, it was less of a question and more of a plea.

"Just try stopping me" she gasped, she felt his hands slowly unzip the back of her dress as he lowered them onto the bed. She felt him laugh against her chest and the vibrations sent what felt like shock waves around her body. Her skin felt so incredibly hot it was almost unbearable, it was like there was a deep burning inside of her emitting sparks everytime she felt Chucks skin on hers.

Chuck once again raised his head and took in Blair's beautiful appearence beneath him, she looked up at him equally in over-whelming desperation. Their locked eyes told them two things, firstly that they were about to spend the best night of their lives together. And secondly that their wait had been worth it, the way they looked at each other, the way they touched each other, and the way they felt about each other was not only mind-blowingly perfect - it was better than love.

_A/N - What do you think? Hope you enjoyed reading, really appreciate the reviews so keep 'em coming!xoxo_


	7. Look after You

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

**A/N- **I am **SO **sorry it has taken me this long to update, I had a bit of a lack of inspiration. The Chuck and Blair in the real Gossip Girl have been slightly depressing me as they are being so mean to each other - so this chapter cheered me up quite a bit :)

Chuck was vaguely aware it was morning, he felt the sun shining in through the window warming his face gently. But that wasn't the only thing that was keeping him warm, he realised Blair was laying her head on his chest and was pressed tightly against him. He was still completely shattered from their love-making session last night so brought his arm tighter around Blair and tried to fall back asleep. But knowing Blair was next him, her body so exposed and close to his kept him firmly conscious.

He opened his eyes slightly and squinted due to the brightness, once he had adjusted to the light he looked down and focused completely on Blair. He immediately smiled, he couldn't help it, her expression was so serene and beautiful it felt like his heart swelled just knowing she was his. She was breathing in and out slowly and sometimes muttering things to herself - he was completely mesmerised. He didn't know why he felt like he did- he supposed it was because he'd never really done the whole morning after thing before, he'd never wanted to. But now he realised just what he had been missing out on, and was extremely glad his first experience of it was with Blair.

Blair knew Chuck was watching her, she so desperately wanted to open her eyes but she was also curious for what Chuck was going to say or do. She felt him gently stroke a strand of her hair behind her shoulder, his skin left goosebumps and a tingling buzz on hers, it reminded her of how he had been with her last night - he was so gentle, and caring but _completely_ satisfied her needs at the same time. Her leg was casually strewn over his and her arm naturally rested on his chest above his heart, she felt like she could stay where they were forever, but she knew they would have to surface at one point.

"I know you're staring at me" Blair murmured

"It's hard not to" Chuck said surprised to know she was awake.

Blair sighed happily and finally opened her eyes, she smiled when she saw Chuck looking back down at her, without thinking she leaned further up a little and kissed him. It was a casual and almost lazy kiss, but just right for the morning after the night before, Blair pulled away slowly and rested her head further up on his shoulder now. She was surprised by how relaxed and comforted she felt, she thought it might have been awkward being so close to each other in a way they hadn't been before, but in reality she hadn't been more at ease in her life. She glanced over to the clock on Chuck's mantlepiece to see what the time was and was instantly dragged out of her happy thoughts.

"Damn it!"

"What?" said Chuck suddenly confused.

"We've got to be at Lilys in less than an hour" she said sitting up quickly.

Chuck groaned, he had completely forgotten about his step mothers party, he couldn't even remember what this one was for - not that Upper East Side parties needed a particular point. All he wanted to do was stay right where he was with Blair, the thought of sitting through some boring obligatory social event when he could have the hottest girl there all to himself was mortifying.

"Ugh, do we have to?"

"Yes, it would be to obvious if we both weren't there, not to mention rude."

"Oh come one, lets stay in bed a little longer"

"We can't" Blair was trying to convince herself but Chuck could hear the resistance in her voice.

He grabbed her waist and playfully pulled her back down on to the bed, if he couldn't persuade her to stay he would use some other of his methods. He started kissing the side of her neck whilst he manoeuvered himself on top of her.

"Chuck!" she giggled.

He was careful not to put too much force on her so he intertwined their fingers together and pulled both their hands up to rest above her head.

"You know you want to stay, think of _all_ the things we could do. Just do this for me." He continued kissing down her collarbone, Blair found it harder now to remember her side of the argument.

"I already braved a storm for you last night"

"True, you were extremely wet for me last night" he smirked

"Ew, Chuck" She blushed and hit him lightly.

"Playing rough now are we?"

She sighed in disappointment "We're not playing anything because we have to go." Blair knew the party was important even if staying exactly where she was with Chuck was the perfect alternative.

Chuck groaned and rolled off her, laying flat on his back with his hands behind his head.

"Don't worry though, I'll make it up to you later" Blair looked at him seductively.

The thought of that could get Chuck through the day he decided.

"I'll look forward to it" he winked.

* * *

Blair walked into the large exquisitely decorated entrance of the Van Der Woodsens penthouse, she had only just managed to get home and change in time - after a quick call to Dorota. Chuck was waiting the limo he had insisted they take together, she had thought it would be best if they arrived separately so as not to draw too much attention to themselves. She had persuaded Chuck to keep what they had a secret for the time being, people would still be reeling from her break-up with Nate.

Blair was amazed by how much the thought of Nate didn't bother her, he was just like any other acquaintance now, the feelings she had once had for him paled in comparison to the constant overwhelming buzz she had after last night with Chuck.

"Missing me already?"

"You said you were going to wait in the limo!" she turned and scowled at Chuck but couldn't ignore her butterflies with the way he was looking at her.

"It's more exciting this way. Don't worry, no one will suspect anything" he smirked and placed his hand on the small of her back urging her to go into the room.

"Blair!" Serena called as she walked over.

Blair shot a warning look at Chuck telling him to go away, he just rolled his eyes mockingly and went over to the bar.

"Hey" Blair smiled back at Serena

"Wow, you look happy for someone who's just broken up with their boyfriend"

"Oh well- it was for the best"

"What? Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?"

"I'm still the same, I'm just not with Nate anymore. You saw yourself how things weren't working out between us"

"Yeah I guess, you just seem happier that's all" _Why did Serena have to pick today to be more observant than normal?_ Blair thought.

"Well I am because lunch is ready, now lets go eat" she said stopping the conversation before it could go any further.

* * *

Chuck wandered around Lily's penthouse, lunch seemed to have taken forever, all this formality about staying afterwards to socialise was crap in his opinion. However each time he began to feel annoyed a flicker of last night would come to his mind and then all he could think about was Blair. He couldn't stop looking at her either, it sounded strange even to himself but she just looked stunning to him. What made him even happier was the secret looks she had been giving him over lunch, it took nearly everything he had not to get up there and then and-

"She looks happier doesn't she?" Nate interrupted Chuck's thoughts.

"What?" Chuck said still trying to concentrate.

"We broke up yesterday and yet she looks happier than ever"

Chuck took a swig of his whisky to stop him from smiling, Nate's words had made his gloating over last night just a bit better.

"Yes, she does have a certain glow about her, why did you two break up so suddenly anyway?"

"We weren't really working out, it was a bit out of the blue though"

"Well maybe it's for the best man, just move on"

"That's what she said"

"She's right Nathaniel, she always is - you should know that by now"

"I don't know anything about her now" Nate looked over and saw Blair laughing gleefully with Serena " I don't know what's got into her"

Chuck laughed out loud but was quick to turn it into a cough at the expense of his friends unknowingly crude joke.

"Don't worry Nate, it's for the best" and it was - _for him anyway._ Chuck knew he was somehow betraying his best friend and he did feel bad about it, but he knew Nate had always craved for Serena and never really loved Blair. And Chuck knew Blair deserved a lot better than Nate, and he was hoping that he was enough.

* * *

Blair walked aimlessly down one of Lilys many corridors, she was seriously regretting her earlier decision of not staying in bed with Chuck. Lunch was practically impossible though, trying to make unwilling, boring conversation with other guests knowing Chuck was watching her all the while. Every time their eyes met across the table the physical and emotional chemistry exploded between them, she couldn't stop smiling knowing how infatuated they felt with each other. It felt as though she would never be able to stop looking into his deep brown eyes ...

Suddenly she felt someone grab her wrist. She was rushed to her left. Her heart raced as she searched for an explanation for her sudden relocation. And he heart raced even more when her eyes met Chucks.

"What are you doing?" Blair tried to sound annoyed but the exhilaration Chuck brought to her was clear.

"_We _are getting away from all that crap out there. And _you _are going to kiss me"

Blair hated not having the upper hand, but with Chucks hands on her waist and his hot breath on her neck it was simply impossible to refuse him.

She sighed as she gave in "I hate you"

Chuck smiled at his victory "I hate you too" and with that he took her face in his hands and brought their lips crashing together for the kiss they had both been so desperately craving all day. Chucks lips were hungry and infused with passion, Blair was completely intoxicating for him, he needed to have her. It still amazed both of them how excited yet safe they already felt with each other. Chuck was getting more caught up in the moment, he knew they shouldn't risk someone seeing them but he didn't care. He reached for Blairs hands and pinned them above her head as he backed them against a wall, he began temptingly slowly to kiss down Blairs neck. Her breathing was getting quicker and shallower, she quivered when he softly bit her ear lobe and then soothed it with his tongue. They hadn't been together long but Chuck already knew _exactly_ how to please and turn Blair on further. They were so lost in each other they couldn't stop now.

But suddenly they had a reason to.

"What the hell is going on?" said a voice behind them.

_A/N - Sounds strange but I really don't know whether that was any good or not, would love any kind of review as I find them all really interesting :) and they cheer me up x_

_Thanks for readingx_


	8. Take back the City

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

* * *

A/N- Ok Im giving everyone a big shout out as you have all been amazingly lovely and encouraged me to keep up with this. So thanks to all my awesome reviewers-

vintage.fashionista, SohoDoll, kayden4, princetongirl, Bassdorf, kaesaku, delphin4ik, mcflygirl3, Gazing From Afar, sugargrrl22, lamiss 12, Butterflies In My Stomach, FaeryQueenRoo, sazad123, Kate2008, CBEBTRBLSB trory12, Bass-Playa91, xxktnxx, edwardcullen.bellaswan, winchestergrl13, Chairforever, and my lovely Shelby!  
And a **BIG **thanks to everyone else who either has me on story/author alert etc, or just takes their spare time to read my stuff, I really do appreciate it.  
And how awesome were the real Chuck and Blair on Gossip Girl this week?! 3

Ok rambling over, now lets get back to our Chair!

* * *

"What the hell is going on?"

Chuck groaned and reluctantly let go of Blair and turned round. Blair snapped out of her previously dazed mood and looked to see who had caught them.

"Chuck! Blair!" Serena said shocked.

_It could have been worse,_ thought Blair. "Serena this isn't what it looks like"

"Uh, well I think it is B."

Blair shifted uncomfortable as she realised even her bitchiness and scheming couldn't cover the fact her and Chuck were in a very compromising position.

"Jeez Blair you only broke up with Nate yesterday! And Chuck," she shook her head "He's an ass Blair, he's just using you. I mean I know you and Nate where never perfect but I never thought you'd turn to Chuck-"

"Shut up!"Blair yelled. Chuck looked over slightly shocked by her outburst, _why did she care what Serena thought about him?_

Blair looked at Chuck _"_He's not like that ok. And don't lecture me about Nate. You where the one who slept with him when he was my boyfriend!" Blair moved forward to confront Serena further but Chuck held her back _she would regret it in the morning _he thought .

Serena sighed "Look you know I'm sorry about that, but I'm trying to look out for you"

"No you're not. You should have been looking out for me then, this has nothing to do with you." Blair felt her anger build, they had never openly talked about Serena and Nates betrayal before but emotions were running high so it might as well come out now.

"Well you forgave Nate, you knew he never really loved you"

Blair stared at her scowling. "Don't look at me like that Blair, I didn't want Nate - It meant nothing"

"Well it meant something to me. You were my best friend Serena." Blair's eyes welled with tears, Chuck reached out to touch her arm.

"Oh don't pretend that you actually care about her" Serena said mockingly.

"I care about her a hell of a lot more than you do" Chuck said calmly but completely serious

"Come on Chuck, I know what you're like. She may hate me now but she's my best friend, I don't want you using her"

"I'm not." He said almost sounding disgusted with the thought

"Yeah right, you'll move on to another girl next week and I'll have to pick up the pieces"

"Is it impossible that I might have genuine feelings for her! For anyone?" Chuck became angrier now, he was fed up with people doubting him. It seemed like Blair was the only one who could actually see how he was.

"You can't be serious about this,"

"Well we are, ok, for once in my life I have someone that means something to me. Don't take that away" Both Serena and Blair were surprised by the sudden sincere turn the conversation had taken.

Serena pursed her lips and looked from Blair to Chuck, she didn't believe it, she probably never would. She was positive it would end in tears but despite it all Blair was her best friend and Serena had indeed betrayed her. Maybe this was the only way she could show she was sorry.

"Fine, go ahead" Serena sighed, Chuck squeezed Blairs hand. "But you have to tell Nate and everyone else by the end of the month, it's not fair"

"Ok, we will" said Blair "Just let us be ok?"

Serena rolled her eyes showing her approval and left the room quickly before she changed her mind.

* * *

**3 weeks later...**

The past 3 weeks hadn't been the easiest for Blair, but they were also indescribably amazing. She actually felt like a new and improved version of herself, and it was all down to Chuck. He had been a perfect gentleman, treating her with sincerity and honest that Blair would never have believed if she had not experienced it first hand. They had some disputes and banter but they could never keep it up long, they would catch a glint of amusement in the others eyes and before they knew it they were having the best make-up sex ever. Everything was actually going a lot better than expected, apart from one thing. Only three people knew about them, and Blair was the only one who wanted to keep it a secret. She could have expected Serena to not want to keep lying, but Chuck was also pressuring her to be open about them.

She did want to tell people eventually, she wasn't ashamed of Chuck. But every now and again (however much she hated it) her old insecurities would return. _What will people think? Will people think he's using me? Is he really my perfect guy?. _So for the moment she was quite happy with staying how they were. Serena was still an issue though, they hadn't talked in ages and Blair needed to make sure she was going to keep quiet.

The girls of Constance billiard school were filing out of assembly, there was chatter about some class Christmas trip which Blair wasn't even slightly interested in, her main focus was getting to speak to Serena, after elbowing a couple of freshman she finally found her.

"S, It's been too long, how are you?"

"Blair" Serena said sceptical "What do you want"

"Why presume I want something?"

"You normally do"

"Well as a matter of fact I do, this whole no-speaking thing is becoming ridiculous. We're best friends but we don't even see each other"

"What are you suggesting?" Serena raised her eyebrow, she was trying to judge whether it was another one of Blairs schemes or whether she actually did just want to hang out.

"How about some retail therapy? Followed by lunch at Jovia? Just me, you, on a girls day out."

Serena paused "Ok then," she gave in and laughed, not quite sure whether she was being fooled or not.

* * *

"Ahh, Bendels! This place is like Church to me!"

"It always has been. You've been in Gucci since you were baby"

"What can I say my mother taught me well"

Blair and Serena entered their favourite store in a rush of excitement, it has been ages since they had a girls day out. Blair had been intending to purely make sure Serena kept quiet but now she out with her best friend her scheme was slipping away and she was beginning to enjoy herself.

As Blair began flicking through the clothes Serena approached her to set her doubts at rest.

She sighed "Blair, what are we really doing here?"

"Looking fabulous"

"Come on, What's going on with you and Chuck?"

"I thought you didn't care"

"I do. Look I'm sorry for what I said I was just worried"

"And what about now?"

"Well I'm still worried, but as long as your happy"

"So you won't tell anyone?"

"No, I promise. As long as your're happy. You are aren't you?"

Blair tried not to show her excitement too much, but the smile she was hiding burst across her face as she realised she could finally share her feelings with Serena.

"Yes! It's unbelievable, I've never felt like this before" Blair said excitedly

"I'll take that as a good thing"

"He makes me feel so... I can't describe it, he just makes me feel alive, you know?"

"Wow, we are talking about the same Chuck aren't we?" Serena raised one eyebrow.

"I know his history, and I was nervous about it too. But I actually think I bring out the best in him, he's actually quite romantic, but he wouldn't want me telling you that" she laughed.

"I bet he wouldn't. So do you... y'know, do you love him?"

Blair stopped laughing at Serena's sudden disconcerting question. Blair gulped, she hadn't actually thought about _what _she felt about him. "Um, what? I don't know." _She wasn't supposed to know yet was she? _Blair became slightly worried that she hadn't worked exactly what she felt about him.

"You said you loved Nate" Serena pointed out. _That was true, she said she loved Nate, but looking back what she felt for him was nothing in comparison for what she felt about Chuck._

_"_I'm not sure yet" Blair didn't want to think about it any longer so she tried to change the subject. "Anyway let's go to Lunch"

Serena sensed the atmosphere and followed Blair out of the shop.

"Anyway so how are you and Dan doing?" asked Blair.

_That's a first, _Serena thought. Blair never normally paid any attention to her relationship, in fact most of the time she pretended Dan didn't exist.

"Oh, well we're doing great actually, he cooked me a meal last night."

"That's beautiful!" said Blair incredulously.

"Well it was quite sweet"

"No, no that S. That ring!"

Serena rolled her eyes and glanced over to see what Blair was newly infatuated with.

"It's just a ruby ring B"

"No it's not! It's beautiful, - I definitely love that" she laughed "Look at the freaking price tag though! Jeez it takes a lot when even _we_ can't afford something."

Serena just laughed and pulled her dazed friend along the street towards the next store.

* * *

Chuck sat with his feet up and a glass of his favourite whiskey in his hand, it was Saturday afternoon and everyone was out. Normally he would have invited Nate round but he thought better of it, or he would go out to a bar, but for once he was on his own. Most of his life he had hated his own company, if he was being honest most of his life he hadn't even liked himself. He pretended to himself that random women, drink and money were his life, and that he was happy with it all. He was Chuck Bass, he didn't care about anyone apart from himself. But looking back on it now he realised just how wrong he was, none of those things made him remotely happy compared to what he had been feeling over the last few weeks. He wasn't completely changed but something definitely had, for the first time in his life he felt ... happy, truly happy. God, it sounded cheesy to him, the old Chuck Bass would have just laughed in his face and called him pathetic. But he didn't care anymore, if being cheesy and pathetic meant he could be with Blair then he would be, no question about it.

Just thinking about her still brought butterflies to his stomach, he was still shocked at how he was feeling, he had definitely fallen for her badly. The one thing he was worried about was whether he was... in _love_. Even the word made him shake his head, he took another swig of whiskey. He wanted to love Blair, in a way he wanted to love her more than _anything _in the world, but he couldn't - even if he wanted to, at least thats what he thought. He'd never actually loved anyone in his life, he hated his father, he never even knew his mother, infact no-one had ever loved him really so how was he expected to even know what love was?

"We're back!" Chuck's thoughts were interrupted, he suddenly realised how deep he was thinking, it made him uncomfortable so he was glad he for the new distraction.

He put his glass down and went to greet them, he wondered how they had got on, he knew they hadn't been on the best of terms recently. He'd tried to tell Blair not to worry about it, but knowing Blair she was more likely to have had some sort of plan or scheme involving Serena.

"Chuck!" Blair dumped her shopping on the hallway floor and skipped over to see him. she didn't want to be a whiney, pathetic girlfriend but she did find herself missing him considerably, even if she wasn't away from him long. So she made sure to make what time she did have with him worth it, she leaned up and kissed him, revelling in the fact they were actually together.

"Oh God, get a room... Actually don't! that would be even worse" Serena frowned as she unwillingly imagined the possibilities.

Blair stayed in Chucks arms but spun round so her back was pressed against his chest, "Oh, come on, we are not that bad." However while she was saying this Chuck began to kiss down from the hollow beneath her ear - he knew that _always_ distracted her.

"Yeah. Right. You're gonna get found out soon though, Why don't you just come out with it instead?"

Blairs mood dropped slightly.

"I think she's right" Chuck murmured against her.

"What?" Blair broke away slightly.

"We can't be a secret forever, I don't want to be"

Blair frowned slightly, she didn't know what to say.

"Ok, guess thats my cue to leave" Serena said as she left quietly.

Blair turned to face Chuck "But we're good as we are, _great_ as we are" everything was going so well for her she was scared changing something would ruin it.

"I know. But, I want to show you off."

Blair frowned again, not sure exactly what Chuck meant.

"Look, all I meant was I've never had something genuinely beautiful and special before that was mine, I want to show people how much I - " Chuck froze slightly as he realised what he might have said "I'm not ashamed of us" he said changing the subject slightly.

"Neither am I!" Blair was partly offended.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" she said confidently "I'm just a bit scared alright? We will tell people, just give me some time" Blair stared deeply into Chucks eyes; it was all he needed to be convinced.

He smiled and kissed Blair softly "I'll wait as long as you need."

"Good" she sighed "Now how about we get that room Serena suggested?" she winked, took his hand and lead an all too willing Chuck towards his room.

_A/N- Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. I know there was a lot of dialogue but I made it a longer chapter to make up for it. Reviews welcomed and loved! xoxo_


	9. Crash course in Polite conversations

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

_A/N This took me quite a long time to write but I'm pleased with what I've done. I will make a great effort to update this ASAP as Im excited for where the story is heading.  
__A **BIG **thanks to all my reviewers, especially CommenSense who wrote such a lovely review it was really nice and made my day :)_

* * *

Blair stared at the clock as she counted down the minutes until the end of class, she didn't particularly like school normally but recently she had been hating it. The main reason was that she couldn't be with Chuck, she would find herself daydreaming about him and what they could be doing whilst her teacher was asking her a question. It hadn't affected them too much, but only seeing Chuck in the evenings made Blair hate the day more and more. She did have her birthday to look forward to though; Serena normally arranged her party and everything but this year Blair was just having a few friends round to her house for a small party. That way it would look like everything was the same, whilst the real celebration would happen when everyone left and it was only her and Chuck.

She didn't know how to mention it to him though, was it too early to do that sort of thing? She didn't expect a present. It wasn't just because it was Chuck, she wouldn't expect a present from anyone this early in a relationship. "Bzzzzzz!" the bell to end the lesson disrupted Blairs thoughts and made her jump slightly.

She got up and hurried down the corridor into the school courtyard, she was hoping she could see Chuck quickly before everyone else could see them. She waited by one of the school pillars, but she didn't have to wait long.

"Follow me" she heard Chucks voice behind her.

"What the-? Where did you come from?"

"Your dreams, now come on" he laughed.

Blair followed curiously, she wondered where he was taking her. She was disapointed when they turned the corner and headed into the school's library.

"Okay not what I expected" she said frowning slightly.

Chuck took her hand and pulled her around one of the old unused book shelves.

"Ok I know that we've done some pretty kinky stuff but seriously in the library?"

Chuck smirked "I just needed to see you, I hate not being able to be with you"

Blair smiled at Chuck's apparent displeasure at not being able to cope without her.

"I know it sucks" she said "But we still have my birthday together" _there, that wasn't too obviously put _she thought.

"I know, by the way what do you want for your birthday?" he asked even though he already knew what he was getting her, of course he knew she wouldn't expect anything.

"Oh nothing, honestly"

"You sure?"

"Yes. You're enough anyway." she leant forward and pressed her lips gently against his, not because she wasn't in the mood, but if she went any further she would get too carried away - she always did with Chuck.

She sighed "We have to go, someone will see us"

Chuck rolled his eyes but followed her anyway. He smirked when he realised that this was first time he had been in the library and it was to make-out.

"Hey Blair" She froze as she recognised Nate's voice "And Chuck? What are you doing here?"

Blair stared wild-eyed at Chuck, _What do we say?_

"Um, I was looking for you actually. I thought Blair might know" Chuck shook his head as he realised even while he saying it how pathetic and unbelievable that sounded.

"Oh, well can I catch up with you later I actually wanted to talk to Blair"

Chuck frowned slightly and looked to an equally as shocked Blair "Ok" he spluttered, not knowing what else he could say. He began to walk away, he looked back at Blair who was giving him a look of _"What the hell does he want? Come back here now!". _If Chuck wasn't also finding the situation worrying he would have laughed.

Blair desperately tried to cover her anguish but she could tell she was failing, she didn't know why she felt like this. "Hey Nate"

"Hey, um, so I was wondering what you were doing for your birthday?"

"What?"

"You know, I've seen you looking so happy recently and I've kind of missed that so I was wondering whether I could make up for being an ass when we were together"

_No! I don't care how you acted, I'm happy now because of Chuck so go the hell away! _was what she thought but her politeness took over "Um, my party's this weekend?"

"Great! I'll see you there"

"Uh, sure" she tried to look happy but inside she was kicking herself. She watched as Nate beamed at her and then turned to walk way. _Uh-oh _she wondered what Chuck would think, she looked around to see where he went. She saw him sat a table with a confused looking Serena, he had obviously informed her of what had happened; she went over.

"What did he want?" Chuck asked

"Uh, he said something about coming to my party, and me being happy and that he missed me"

"What?!" Chuck said angrily

"I know, I dont know where he's got it from"

"Well you have been a lot happier recently" Serena chipped in.

"I don't believe it. Nate never misses anyone" Chuck said becoming worried now, he tried not to let Blair see. "I want to find out what's going on"

"Chuck, what?" Blair tried to stop him but it was too late he was already walking away from them and catching up with Nate.

"Nathaniel!" Chuck hit Nate on the shoulder harder than he should have.

"Chuck, hey."

"So what was all that about?" he tried to say nonchalant.

"Going to Blair's birthday party"

"But she's your ex"

"I know but recently she's looked like a different Blair, I miss her"

"So she's different but you miss her... Look Nathaniel, you and her never did match - that's why you broke up."

"I know, she just seems more happy now, like the other week at that party, she wouldn't stop smiling"

Chuck remembered alright, it was the day after they had got together, he was also feeling incredibly happy that day - he still was. All he needed now was Nate coming back and messing everything up. He thought everything was ok between him and Blair, amazing in fact. But what if Blair wanted to have a second try with Nate, what if he wasn't good enough anymore and - he was getting carried away with the worst possible circumstances. He tried to control himself, he wouldn't let this happen, he wouldn't loose Blair. She was the most important thing to him now.

"Chuck"

"Yeah, well maybe she's happy now for a reason."

"Like what?"

Chuck tried to change his track of thoughts "There's plenty more women out there, why not try something new?"

"Hm, I suppose. I'll go to Blair's party and see how it goes, you'll be there wont you?"

"Oh I'll be there alright" Chuck said realising he might not get the perfect celebratory night he had hoped for.

* * *

Chuck sat on the sofa of the Bass penthouse suite, he was idly flicking through some of the channels on the the flatscreen tv but nothing at all held any interest to him. In all honesty he was trying to work out his thoughts, he wasn't used to feeling like he was. Before Blair he just focused on what bar to go to and who was the hottest girl in there. But now he had been feeling different he had to try and realise what was going on and what he was going to do. He was thinking about Blair, as per usual. But he was anxious over what might happen at her Birthday, especially with Nate. Nate was like a brother to him, but all Chuck wanted to do was punch him in the face. He didn't like hating Nate, but inside his insecurities believed that Blair may be better off with him. That made him hate Nate. And with Blair still wanting to keep them a secret, it only cemented his insecurities further.

He watched Serena flit around the room putting her make-up on, getting ready to go out. He wondered what her and Dan were like as a couple, sure to him they were boring and uninteresting but at least they were openly happy together with no complications.

"Will you stop brooding!"Serena yelled at him

"What? Bass' do not brood, I was just thinking" he cursed himself for not being more guarded.

"Thinking about Blair?"

"No"

"That's a yes then"

Chuck just sighed and looked away from her.

"What's wrong?"

"I do not need a counselling session from you Serena"

She laughed, he may not have been her step-brother long but she knew when something was getting to him "Look, maybe I can help"

"You can't"

"I'm Blairs best friend, she tells me everything." It was beginning to annoy her now, why wouldn't he say what was wrong. "What is it? Do you not like her anymore?"

"You're not very good at this"

"The sex then?"

He raised his eyebrow "I'm Chuck Bass" he said it as though it answered all life's questions.

"Ok then" she said wishing she hadn't suggested it, then suddenly it hit her. "Oh my god, are you jealous?"

"No"

"You are. This is about Nate?" Serena laughed.

"It's not funny, what if he turns up this weekend at her party and she realises-"

"She won't" Serena said confidently.

"You don't know that,"

"I do, trust me"

He breathed in deeply," I've never felt like this about anyone before. It would _kill_ me to see her go back to him."

Serena smiled at the sincerity Chuck was showing without realising it. "She would never go back to him, she never even thinks about him like that anymore, do you know how happy you've made her?"

He shook his head "But she loved him."

"No she didn't, not like she -" Serena cut herself off. "Chuck do you love her?"

"Woah, this conversation ends now."

"Sorry it's just you both seem so worried. You're not concentrating on just being happy together. You know how happy she is with you, I see it all the time."

"Then why is she still keeping it a secret?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe what you have is so special to her that she's worrying if anything changes it might ruin you?"

"I won't let that happen"

"Well you need to tell her that you idiot"

"Ok, you've got a point" he said reluctantly. He tried to be angry with her but he knew everything she was saying was right.

"There that wasn't so bad was it?" She teased him, "Anyway I'm going to have a chat with Blair"

Now Chuck was angry. "What?"

"Oh don't worry I won't tell her _too _much of little conversation" she continued to taunt him playfully

"If she finds out anything I just said - I will destroy you"

"I love you too big brother" Serena smiled and walked out the room laughing to herself.

_A/N- I love Chuck and Serena as brother and sister lol. Wish they were closer in the show. Really hope you liked it, I'm very grateful to everyone who reads :) Reviews welcome xoxo_

* * *


	10. You call it madness, But I call it Love

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve some scenes from show in first few chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

A/N- Sorry for not updating sooner, I have had loads of work to do this week. I didn't even know they were doing Blairs 18th at the same time as this so I hope you also like this version! This is over 3000 words so make yourself comfy :)

Also warning about language, but I think the drama needed it.

Blair stretched her arms and rolled over, she sighed and looked at the clock- It was her 18th Birthday, she smiled as the realisation hit her. Of course birthdays weren't as exciting as they were when she was little, but it still made her happy that this year she was exactly where she wanted to be. At 18 she used to want to be successful and elegant like Grace Kelly, she imagined herself in a perfect relationship with a bright future ahead of her. Well of course she was already like Grace Kelly, and maybe she didn't have the relationship she used to want but right now it felt just about perfect to her - and that was all that really mattered.

She tried to put the niggling worry about her party tonight and what might happen with Nate to the back of her mind. It was the only thing putting down the day so she decided she would just try and occupy herself all day by getting all the preparation for the party ready - that way she wouldn't worry.

"Miss Blair!"

"Mmm?" she said sleepily

"I have a present for you!" she sounded like she was struggling with something.

"Aw, thanks Dorota"

"No, not me. Help!"

_What the hell is she doing now? _Blair thought. She got out of bed disgruntled and went to see what was wrong. She stepped into the hallway to see Dorota holding a present, but it wasn't what she expected. Dorota was struggling to stand, in her arms she held the largest and most exquisite bouquet of flowers Blair had ever seen. Blair was stunned, there were vast amounts of gorgeously delicate flowers in all variations, pink roses, hydrangeas, as well as her favourite- white lilies. They were all intertwined between white and fuchsia satin ribbon, Blair knew her flowers and she knew these were the very best, arranged by the very best. Blair stood stunned.

"Miss Blair"

Blair snapped out of her daze and rushed over and helped Dorota lower them carefully onto the table.

"Miss Blair, they beautiful"

"I know"

"Who are they from?" usually Blair would not allow Dorota to be so nosy, but she was glad she had someone who was equally as amazed.

"Oh probably Dad, or Serena. They always get me the nicest gifts but they didn't need to do this much."Blair rummaged between the petals to find the card, she found the little envelope and took it out to read-

_Happy Birthday,_

_These are just to let you know how much you mean to me.  
I will always be there for you, whatever happens - I will always protect you.  
Chuck_

Blair read it three times over, not believing what she read. _They were from Chuck? _She smiled as the effect of his words hit her, she felt ...more than happy- she felt loved. _He couldn't love her though could he? No, he was surely just showing affection. _What ever this feeling was it felt great to her, she grinned as she realised how romantic it was and how much it would have taken Chuck to say that- to anyone. Having it written down was even better. She knew she was over-reacting to just some flowers, but her heart was telling her something entirely different.

"Well, who are they from?" Dorota said slightly frustrated.

Blair just smiled "Someone close to me. Now get these in the freshest water and our most expensive vase. They can be the centre-peice for the party tonight."

Blair skipped back up the stairs, whatever happened tonight she could deal with, this was definitely going to be her best Birthday ever- it already was.

* * *

Blair intertwined the last piece of hair into her complicated bun, she was wearing a black a-line dress from Barneys with a tight waistline to emphasise her curves, even by her measure she looked pretty good. People had already started to arrive, there were more people than she expected but then again there always were at these kind of parties. It worked out better anyway as the more people, the easier it would be to avoid Nate.

She heard Serena laugh downstairs and realised she must have arrived, so she went down to greet her. The place was buzzing with light chatter as the music in the background set the mood. She carefully stepped down the marble staircase, everyone turned to look at her while her loyal friends all gave compliments about how nice she looked. It would have made her feel smug but tonight she just wanted to have fun and not worry about looking good.

"Happy Birthday!" Serena cooed as she ran up and hugged Blair,

"Thanks S"

Dan walked up awkwardly behind Serena with his hands in his pockets, he didn't look that bad, but Blair had a suspicion he was wearing one of his Dads suits from the 80's.

"Happy Birthday Blair, its a lovely place you have here, very...expensive" he looked around feeling out of depth wondering why Serena had bothered to bring him along in the first place.

"Why don't you go get us a drink?" Serena said trying to make him feel more comfortable but also giving her the excuse to talk to Blair alone.

"So, excited about tonight then?"Serena asked

"Yeah I guess, um do you know when Chuck's getting here?"

Serena smiled as she realised just how much Blair had changed, she would have normally been worrying and making the night even more about herself but tonight Blair seemed genuinely happy. "He'll be here in about 10 minutes don't worry."

"Good. And you haven't seen Nate-" As soon as she said his name Blair saw Nate arriving in the elevator "Damn, he's here."

"Look just go and say hi, that's all you have to do."

"Yeah well the longer I have to put it off the better." Blair turned and tried to mingle in with the rest of her guests.

* * *

Blair sipped a specially made cocktail and scanned the room, it had been nearly half an hour now and Chuck wasn't here. She was grateful everyone was here but she secretly wished she could swap them all for the one person she actually wanted there. At least everyone else was having a nice time even if she wasn't.

"Hey, been avoiding me?" Blair cursed herself for not hiding better as she recognised Nate's voice.

"No, of course not" Blair turned to face him and gave a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Well, Happy Birthday. I can't believe you're 18 already,"

"Well I am" she said not trying to be funny or polite.

"I remember when we were younger and planned what we'd do together for your 18th"

"That was a long time ago Nate"

"But there were good times though"

Blair smiled back, not quite knowing what to say. There was an awkward silence and Blair looked away, to her joy she could see Chuck was talking to Serena. _Finally, _she thought, she couldn't take anymore of this uncomfortable silence. She was just about to make an excuse to leave but Nate got there first.

"Blair, the reason I came here tonight wasn't just for your birthday." Blair wasn't liking the way the conversation was going, "Its just we have a lot of history, you and me,"

"Nate, don't. I'm not-"

"Wait, you don't have to decide anything now, just think about it."

Blair just stared at him, partly in annoyance and partly angry at herself for not stopping this sooner. She should have just come out with her and Chuck's relationship weeks ago. None of this would have happened, Nate was quite _clearly_ not meant for her. Even if going public about her and Chuck risked their relationship changing, it would be worth it, as having no relationship with him at all would be unthinkable.

"I have to go Nate" she made her excuse and headed back up the steps to her room, she needed some time to think and the middle of a party wasn't the best venue.

* * *

"I hate him" Chuck said to Serena

"No you don't, you just like Blair more."

_That was true, _he thought, _a _lot_ more._ "Why can't he just leave Blair alone, he doesn't really miss her. He doesn't even know her" Chuck watched as he saw Blair talking to Nate, she didn't look very happy which was a good sign but it still made him jealous as hell to even see them together. He couldn't stand people not knowing about them, all he wanted to do was go and put his arm around her and have everyone know she was his- but he couldn't.

He saw her stop talking to Nate, he watched as she went up the stairs, presumably to her room.

"Now's your chance, go and see her" Serena nudged him.

Chuck walked over to the stairs, careful not to draw to much attention to himself and followed Blair up to her room.

He opened the door and saw her back facing him, she was lying on her bed. She had obviously heard him come in as she sat up and turned to face him.

"Finally" she sighed but smiled to let him now she wasn't really angry. He walked over and sat down next to her.

"Hey...I saw you talking to Nate"

She realised why he seemed a little distant, he obviously felt slightly uncomfortable about Nate.

"Talking? I think you mean dying, it was horrible."

He looked up as if to ask why.

"I think he wants to get back together with me" Blair saw Chucks emotions change negatively so she was quick to explain "Of course I said no. You have to know Chuck," she paused to make sure the words would be right "that you are the most important thing to me now. I would _never _even think about getting back together with Nate."

"I know, it's just hard sneaking around. I just want to be with you Blair, that's not too much to ask is it?"

"No, I'm sorry, I'll fix everything don't worry." once again the conversation she was having was not going where she wanted it to be.

She turned to face Chuck better "I love the flowers."

He laughed "I thought you would."

"They were very classy, I'm rather impressed with you Chuck Bass."

He smirked "You haven't seen anything yet"

She smiled as she could see his walls coming down again, "Well how about you impress me further" she grabbed the front of his suit and pulled him closer so she could get the kiss she had been waiting for all night. She tried to keep the upper hand but as soon as his lips touched hers she melted away into her favourite place to be.

* * *

Nate stood annoyed downstairs, his conservation with Blair hadn't gone as he had intended. He didn't quite know how he felt about Blair, he just knew he didn't like being without her, he didn't like being on his own. He did know that he needed to do something about it, he put his glass down on the table when he noticed something that caught his attention. He noticed Chucks name on a card in an arrangement of flowers. He thought he was surely wrong, he looked around to see if anyone was looking then reached to get the card. He couldn't quite believe what he was reading. _What the hell?_ Were his only thoughts, _Blair with Chuck? - there was no way. _He wanted to know whether this was a mistake or not, _it had to be._

He remembered Blair going up to her room, he pushed his way past some of the guests to try to find her- or Chuck.

He walked down the corridor and reached Blairs door, he decided he wouldn't mention it first, he would see whether she wanted him back or not. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

**2 minutes earlier...**

Chuck was becoming more and more frustrated with the amount of clothes they both had on. He ripped his bow-tie off and continued to kiss down Blairs chest, he was _seriously _enjoying the way Blair was reacting to his touch. She seemed to become completely undone whenever she was with Chuck, its like her senses took over and all rational thought was lost. She tugged at his collar and moaned when she couldn't get her hands on his skin, she was completely unaware of anything going on outside of just them.

However suddenly Blairs stomach twisted with horror, the_ last _thing in the very world she would want to see right now, was her ex-boyfriend stood with a face like thunder watching her make-out with his best friend. And yet this was what she was faced with...

"What the fuck are you doing?" Nate yelled as he pulled Chuck off of Blair.

Chuck grimaced as he snapped out of his previously involved mood and realised just how bad this situation was.

"Nathaniel, wait, this isn't-" He didn't have time to continue as he felt the force of Nate's fist hit the side of his face, he had seen it coming but he thought it would have been better to let Nate get it out of his system.

Blair scrambled off the bed panicked "Leave him alone!" she grabbed his arm in case he decided to hit Chuck again. Nate turned to Blair in disgust and pulled her arm off him aggressively causing her to cry out in pain.

Before he could do anything else Chuck had grabbed his shirt and slammed him with full force against Blairs wall. "Don't you dare fucking touch her!" Chucks thoughts were clear  
now- he was fuming, neither Blair nor Nate had ever seen him like that.

"Get off me Chuck, this is between me and Blair" Nate tried to push Chuck off him but had no success.

Chuck had never felt such anger for his best-friend, to see him physically hurt Blair brought out such rage within him it was unbelievable. He _tried_ to calm himself down as he realised this was Blairs Birthday. He didn't want her seeing this "If you touch one hair on her head. I _will _kill you." He took his grip off Nate and turned to face Blair to see whether she was ok. She had a complete look of shock and worry on her face.

She had no idea what to say, she stood motionless. Chuck sensed how she was feeling and decided to take charge of the situation himself.

"We can't do this here" he said

"Well where do you suggest you find out your best friend is sleeping with your ex-girlfriend?" Nate asked angrily

"Outside." Chuck gestured.

* * *

Chuck and Nate stormed out onto the street below Blairs penthouse, neither knew what to say first. Chuck had calmed slightly from his enraged state.

"How long?"he demanded

Chuck didn't really know how to answer "A while"

"While we were together?" Nate began to pace.

Chuck sighed "Yes. But look, we didn't plan any of it. It just happened"

"I can't believe this" Nate shook his head "We were going to get back together"

"No you weren't Nate, she wants to be with me. We just didn't know how to tell people"

"That's bullshit Chuck, you in a relationship?" he laughed spitefully "You haven't even got a relationship with your own family, why the hell would Blair want _you_ over me."

"Honestly, I don't know. But she does, and I know you won't understand this. But I need her Nate"

"I know you better than anyone Chuck, there's no way _you _could have feelings for someone. I can see why Blair might have gone with you as a rebound, but c'mon you know she means nothing to you. You'll never protect her, you'll never be there for her" Nate spat out as he mocked Chucks note to Blair.

"You don't know me!"Chucks anger had now returned "You don't even care. You can't even begin to understand the way I feel about her" he was nearly shaking with frustration

"Well how do you feel then! Big man, Chuck Bass. C'mon, enlighten me!"

"I love her!" he shouted at Nate before he could think.

Nate stared in confusion "You don't love her"

Chuck ran his hand through his hair, _he had said he loved her_. It should have shocked him, it should have terrified him, but it didn't. For so long he had been missing something from his life, he had been missing something within him, and suddenly it had all fallen into place.

"Yes I do." He nodded his head "I'm sorry about all of this, I am. But Blair wants me too. She's the most important thing to me." He slowed down his next few words to savour them "and I'm in love with her"

Nate looked at Chuck, still confused. But Chuck could see everything clearly now, it was Blairs birthday, and the party may have been ruined but he had just received the best gift of all, he realised he could, and was, in love.

A/N- That was so long! I _really_ hope you all liked it, I know I loved writing it 3  
Click the button below and I will love you forever :)


	11. Dark Side of the Moon

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up. Oops, and I forgot to add, I used a Luke and Lorelai line from Gilmore Girls in this chapter. I don't own those characters or lines, they belong to their repected creators. Please don't sue me! thanks :)

**A/N I am really sorry for how long I have taken, I was ill for a week so it made me a bit behind schedule. Also this fanfiction is in the Gossip Girl TV section now, hope this doesn't confuse anyone :) This chapter is major Chair, and quite cheesey but I love my cheese! Read and enjoy xx**

**

* * *

****Gossip Girl here. I told you I'd find out about B and N, and looks like C and B have been doing the dirty together. Thats right, Upper East siders, your very own Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf were together, but here's the real shocker- they still are! One thing's for sure, we'll all be waiting for their entrance Monday morning. I'm wondering how long it'll last before one of them sees the light?**

Chuck sighed as he read the text, this was the last thing Blair needed on a Monday morning, especially after what happened at her party on the weekend. He had given her some space since then, mainly because he simply didn't know how to react with her, and he needed some time to think- about what he did, and what he _said. _A part of him tried to deny it, he couldn't love anyone surely? But however he looked at it, however he tried to deny it, his heart simply refused to be anything other than in love with Blair. And if he was being honest all he wanted was to love Blair, for the rest of his life. But he couldn't tell her, not yet. He wanted to, but he knew she wasn't in love with him. For the moment he was just going to be there for her and support her with whatever she needed, for as long as she needed.

He was on his way to pick up Blair, he wasn't going to let her face the rest of the school and her peers on her own. He couldn't care less what people thought of him, or them. But he knew Blair wasn't over her insecurities yet so he was going to be there for her showing a united front. The limo began to slow and Chuck was surprised to see Blair waiting on the sidewalk for him, he wasn't sure whether this was a good sign or not. The limo stopped and he got out, he smiled at her but she simply got into the limo. A pang of anxiety hit him and he wondered whether she was ok.

He sat watching her, neither had said anything yet. The silence was becoming unbearable but Chuck was trying to work out what was wrong before he said anything. However Blair got there first.

"I sent the message to Gossip Girl" she said finally looking at him.

"Woah, not what I expected"

"I know, I was just thinking about what you said about just wanting to be together and you were right. _All _I want is us. I don't care anymore."

"What made you realise all of that?" Chuck said slightly confused.

"I saw you and Nate fighting on my birthday and I realised just how much I meant to you, and in that moment I realised just how much you mean to me."

Chucks stomach twisted as he realised Blair had seen him and Nate on the street, which would have meant she had heard him say...

"What else did you hear?"

"Um, nothing why?"

He sighed "Nothing, don't worry. I'm just relived you feel the same way. Are you sure you're gonna be ok?"

"Yes" she smiled, "And I love that you're concerned" Both of them suddenly felt different when they heard the word "love" but they were quick to not show it. Blair had been thinking more and more about the whole "love" issue, but she was just too scared of being rejected so decided it was best to just not think about it.

"So look, Im sorry about your party." He saw her roll her eyes as though he shouldn't apologise but he continued anyway "So I want to make up for it- tonight, come round to my suite and we'll have dinner together."

Blair looked taken aback but happy at his suggestion "What made you think of that?"

"Well, we didn't get that night together we planned. And I want your 18th to be special."

"Chuck Bass is a romantic, who knew?" she leaned in closer to him but pulled away as his expression turned more serious.

"Would you ever change how this turned out? You and Me?" Chuck said unexpectedly.

"No. why?" she said slightly worried at the conversation

"I wouldn't either, not one thing- I just wanted you to know that" he smiled her favourite Chuck Bass crooked smile, all it took was one look into his deep brown gorgeous eyes and everything around them was lost.

"Well this is all far too serious for the back of your limo" she smirked back at him.

"I agree Waldorf" he leaned forward and cupped the side of her face in his hand, drawing her closer to him. He looked mesmerisingly into her eyes and then kissed her, softly at first and then more passionately as he let his emotions take over. He pulled away from her gently and began to kiss down her jaw and then her neck, "and by the way, the back seat of this limo is _ours,_ not mine" he smiled against her skin.

* * *

"Can't we just stay here?"

"No, come on. As much as I want to, we have to go"

"Please, lets just drive around a little longer. I'll do _anything_ you want" she bit her lip suggestively.

Chuck groaned trying to restrain himself "Oh my god, are you trying to kill me?"

She laughed, "Ok, ok. But if people throw stuff at me, I'm leaving"

"Don't worry I'll protect you" he said it in a joking manner but his eyes revealed how his words were completely serious.

They pulled up outside of school, neither of them were nervous.- they were Chuck and Blair after all. They were just both worried that this big change in their relationship might ruin them. Neither had had the kind of relationship they were in now, and all the bravado, bitchiness and sarcasm could hide that on face value. But deep down they knew that being together was not a short term thing. They were in deep now, and they were going to fight for it with everything they had.

Before they got out they looked at each other, it was the kind of look where you know everything from there on might change. It was a look of love- even if they wouldn't admit it. Chuck nodded and opened the door for her.

They both got out and looked around, as expected everyone was either turning to look at them or whispering to a friend. People watched expectantly for what the new most unexpected couple on the Upper East side would do next.

Blair wanted to turn around and leave, she normally loved the attention- when she was on her own. But now she was different, she only wanted attention from one person, not hundreds. Just as she was about to complain or make some sarcastic comment- she stopped. She felt Chuck reach for, and hold her hand. It was the simplest of actions, but to her it meant _everything._

She smiled and began to walk forward with Chuck alongside her. As they passed she heard people mutter and look sceptically at them- but she didn't care. They began to walk up the steps, she tried to ignore the conversation but some caught her attention.

"She dumped Nate for him? She must know he's just using her" She felt Chuck flinch a little at that, she could tell he wanted to say something but he didn't.

Then she saw her "friends", Hazel and Iz and the rest of them. To her surprise they were actually walking towards her, she smiled at them and stopped to see what they were going to say.

Hazel stood in front of her and just laughed- straight in her face. "I thought you had class Blair, but you seriously think you can have a relationship with him" she gestured at Chuck but he just looked away "You must be with him for the sex, I mean, what else is there you'd want to give up all of this for? He's an arrogant, self-obsessed-"

Chuck was blocking out everything she was saying, what everyone was saying. But he felt a sudden change in Blairs mood, suddenly he realised how angry she looked. She let go of his hand and tried to move forward aggressively towards Hazel. He realised she was about to hit Hazel, so moved quickly to bring her back to him. She didnt struggle against him for long though, she turned to face him. "I can't do this" she said and turned to walk away from him. This was what he had feared.

"Hey, hey. Wait." he said close behind her. "It's just me and you, ok? Don't leave me"

"I'm not" she sighed " I just _hate _how people can't see you like I do. It's so frustrating."

He smiled at that "Screw them. I couldn't care less Blair, all that bullshit they're saying doesn't change anything ok?"

"I know, you're right." she looked around, people were beginning to look away and not pay as much attention. This was the opportunity she had to be with him, she wasn't going to miss that. She reached up on her tip toes and gripped his school jacket with both hands, she kissed him. Not for everyone else to see, but to know that he was hers and that wasn't going to change.

"Jeeze get a room!" Serena laughed behind them. They pulled apart to look at her. "You guys are finally together!"

Chuck and Blair both smiled as they realised at least one person was pleased for them.

Serena sighed melodramatically "I am happy for you, just ignore everyone else."

Chuck nodded in a sign of gratefulness to Serena, she didn't have to say anything but it meant a lot to him. "I better go now" he said

Blair frowned at the news but soon smiled "Ok, I'll see you later remember?"

"Oh I won't forget" he smirked "I have a surprise for you anyway" he laughed and touched her lightly on the cheek, then walked away.

Blair turned to Serena "Do you know what he's talking about?"

"Maybe" Serena said playfully. Blair pulled Serena off towards the girls corridor to investigate further. It hadn't gone as bad as it could of she thought, in fact she was rather looking forward to the rest of the day, and especially the evening she would have later.

* * *

Blair knocked on the door to 1812, she shifted her weight from foot to foot anxious to see Chuck. Finally she heard the door open, but she was greeted by a waiter dressed in a black and white uniform.

"Um, hello?" she said not really understanding.

"Welcome Miss Waldorf, may I take your coat?" he gestured and so Blair gave him her jacket "After you" he said.

Blair walked down the small corridor and turned to see Chuck stood by a perfectly decorated table with cutlery and flowers set up for a meal. She looked around and saw the whole suite was decorated in candles.

"What is all this?" she smiled and looked around awe.

"A way of saying Happy Birthday properly, and an evening like you wanted" he pulled out the chair for her, and smiled as he realised by the look on her face that he was better than he thought at being romantic. It made him happy.

"This is perfect" she said completely contently.

"Good because I want you to forget about everything at school and just enjoy yourself"

"You really are quite the gentlemen Chuck Bass" she laughed.

"Wait until later" he said smirking to himself.

The meal went by quite quickly, too quickly if Blair was being honest. But she was definitely enjoying herself, she couldn't quite believe she was sat celebrating her 18th Birthday in a candle-lit suite with Chuck Bass- but that made it all the more better.

Blair looked up and noticed Chucks expression had become a lot more intense than before, she frowned a little to show her confusion.

"So the other night I didn't get a chance to give you this" he said getting up and walking over to a drawer in the large glass cabinet.

Blairs eyes lit up as she became curious to see what he was doing. He took something out and walked back over to their table. Blair looked at what he was holding and realised it was a present for her.

"Chuck, I couldn't, really." she didn't want him spending that much money on her, whatever it was.

"Look this is equally for me as it is for you"

That puzzled Blair enough for her to take the small box from him, she looked up and smiled gratefully before untying the little bow. She looked down and carefully clinked open the box. As soon as she saw it a dazzling smile burst across her face. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, except she had seen it before. It was the ruby ring she had seen all those weeks ago with Serena. It was a deep, clear red ruby heart, on a pure gold band surrounded by delicate yet stunning diamonds. She took it out of the box and put it on her right hand, on the second finger and looked down at it. Blair felt tears begin to emerge in her eyes, not from the ring but from the fact that Chuck had put in so much effort to make _her _happy.

"How did you know?" she whispered

"I have my resources, and I thought you deserved something that you would love." He continued to watch Blair intently, he was infatuated with the way she was looking at him in return.

"Everytime I look at this, I'll think of us" she smiled moving her fingers under the candle light.

Chuck breathed out quickly. Blair looked up to see what he was about to say.

He looked into her eyes as deep as he could "This thing we're doing. Me and you." he searched for the perfect words "Just know that I am in. I am all in. I know its early and everything but this isn't a short term thing for me...I know I still need to change, and become better for you but" he stuttered, it was very sincere to see him struggle for words "- all I want to do is be with you and make you happy, so that one day you'll be equally as proud to be with me, as I am to be with you"

There was a silence as they looked at each other.

_...I love you, _was all she could think. _I am in love with you Chuck Bass, and I wouldn't want you to change for the world. _Her head was screaming it but the lump in her throat made her keep quiet.

"Thats the nicest thing anyones ever said to me" she said honestly as tears started to roll down her cheeks "Of course you're deluded but still"

"I am not deluded" he said looking slightly offended.

"Chuck" she said sincerely "You do not need to change at all, and I _am _proud to be with you- more than you could know. I don't know why you want to be with me but the fact that you do makes me the happiest person alive right now. So thankyou, for the dinner and the present and for being you"

"Well this has been quiet an intense day" he chuckled "you must be tired?"

"Tired?" she said acting shocked, quickly changing the emotional mood "You obviously don't know me that well Chuck Bass. Our meal isn't over" Chuck looked at her curiously "We haven't had dessert yet!" she winked at him and took his hand, leading him towards the bed.

"How could I forget" he whispered in such a seductive tone it sent shivers down Blairs neck. "And what is for dessert Waldorf?" he said leaning in so close to her she could feel his breath on her tongue.

She backed away playfully and slid down the strap of her dress, "Me." She giggled and pulled him onto his bed, this was the best present of all she thought.

_A/N- Sorry If I went over board on the cheese but I love it! There will be a picture of Blairs ring on my main page if you want to look at it. It is really beautiful and I always wanted to know the meaning behind it on the show, so this way I can just imagine its the one Chuck gave to her in my fanfiction lol. Anyway, love you all lots for taking the time to read and review as always. Oh and Merry Christmas!! - dont worry I will update before Xmas :)_


	12. Times Like These

**A/N- So I am officially a worse person than Bart Bass in 1x18, Im really sorry for not updating, what can I say? Christmas chaos I guess. I love all my readers so much and I hope you still like this story!! Big hugs to any of you still reading this :)**

Chuck sat at the overly expensive desk in his room, it was unusual for him to be there to say the least. In fact he wondered whether he had ever worked there in his life but today he was working, and he was working hard. Things had been going well for him recently, his life had improved in many different ways since he was with Blair, for one he hadn't gone back to his old ways with his drinking and gambling, he had no reason to anymore- Blair was everything he needed. As things had been going positively he wanted to try and show people how well he was doing, and by people he really meant his father. He had been thinking of a new proposal for Bass industries for a while, but now seemed like a perfect time to go ahead with it. Not only would it would look for him but hopefully it would closen him and his father. Father was a loose term for Bart Bass, he was more like a manager to Chuck, someone he would check in with and normally get verbal abuse from. But even if Chuck would never admit it he longed for his fathers acceptance.

He tried to concentrate on his past success with Victrola but every time he tried he became distracted with flickering images of Blair dancing for him on his stage. He smiled at the thought. It was such an intense and magical atmosphere that night- it had to be marketable he convinced himself. His father should love it, or at least accept it.

Chuck glanced up from his work as he heard Serena just outside his door.

"...I know, you've had a good affect on him, I can't believe it" She continued to laugh for some moments then knocked on the door. She crept in and passed the phone to a confused looking Chuck.

"Hello?"

"Chuck Bass is actually working?" He smiled straight away as he realised Blairs voice, he wondered how a voice could be beautiful.

"Well I'd much rather be with you" he said in his quintessential Chuck Bass sexy voice.

Blair sighed down the phone, _how could just his voice have such a physical effect on her? _"Me too" she said trying to regain her composure " But you have to keep working, and I'll reward you later"

"You better" he said standing up and moving to lie on his bed, he rested his arm behind his head.

"So when are you meeting your Dad?"

"This afternoon," he sighed almost nervously

"Don't worry, I know you'll do great, he'll love it"

"You think so?"

"I know so, he's your Dad therefore he'll have to love it"

Chuck laughed sarcastically at that "have you even met my father?"

"OK he's tough but you've worked so hard. Your father will notice that" Blair found it unusual how much reassurance Chuck needed, he was normally so confident.

"Mmm, hopefully"

"I'm proud of you" she said honestly.

"What?" said Chuck uncomprehendingly.

"You know, everything you've done. I'm really proud of you for it"

Chuck sat up and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, no-one said they were proud of him. In fact no-one had ever been proud of him- he didn't know how to react. Being humble was not something he was used to.

"Chuck? What's wrong?"

"Nothing... Thank you"

"For what?"

"For caring. For being proud" He cleared his throat "I don't deserve it, but it's nice to hear" He could tell Blair would be smiling and rolling her eyes, and she was.

"Okay I'm not keeping you any longer, celebratory drinks tonight?"

"Presumptuous but you know me well Waldorf"

"Of course I do. Now get back to your work" she said in a mock strict voice. "It will be fine, you are _Chuck Bass _after all"

"Don't you forget it" he laughed

"Bye"

His mind raced to the words _"Love you" _, but he settled with "See you later". _One thing at a time_ he thought as he sat back down at his desk.

* * *

Chuck stood in front of his fathers desk, he had only been allowed a small slot in his fathers time to show him his new proposal. He thought it has gone well, he had put across all his main ideas and showed how much work he had done. He gulped as his father looked through the leather bound portfolio. Chuck's normal calm and suave composure was lacking slightly, his palms were sweaty and he was apprehensive of what his father might think. He might like to think he acted like a confident adult but from the outside Chuck looked like a vulnerable child desperate for acceptance. It was a sad image really but lack of parental affection was a common occurence on the Upper East Side.

Chuck tried to study his fathers face to see what he was going say.

"What's all this about Chuck?"

"Uh, I thought I said its about the progression of Bass-"

"No." Bart interrupted "I mean why the sudden interest? I let you develop that club of yours in hope to keep you out of trouble not so it could progress into a major development"

"But don't you think it's a good idea?" Chuck said flipping through a few pages to show what he meant.

"I think it's average"

"Average? But it-"

"It looks more like another excuse for you to have more women and drink" he said far too sternly than a father should.

Chuck clenched his jaw and then sighed. "Is that what you think of me?"

"Honestly Chuck, yes. And I have history as my evidence, you won't change Chuck"

Chuck shook his head slightly, not in disagreement but more angry at himself for ever believing he could actually do something worthy. Maybe his father was right, he was just fooling himself with this new attitude.

"Look, I have a meeting now I have to go. Why don't you go back to Victrola- the place still needs some work. Concentrate on that."

"Ok," was all he could choke out. He briefly smiled at his father then stared down at the leather proposal folder left astrew on the desk. He picked it up roughly and dropped it in the bin on the way out.

* * *

Blair sat in an oriental booth in the middle of the atmospheric sushi restaurant, she was waiting for Serena who as per usual was running late. Blair would have waited but she was too hungry, there would have been a time when Blair would have avoided food at all cost but today she was peckish. She looked at the sushi manoeuvering past the table on a conveyor, she deliberated and then picked a round plate with four calafornia rolls on. She placed them in front of her and then in a lapse of her usual manner put a whole one into mouth.

"Hey, I'm sorry I'm late!"Serena fluttered in beside her.

"Mmpf" Blair tried to swallow quickly.

"Ooh they look good" Serena leaned across and with the elegance of a Queen picked up the piece of sushi and popped it into her mouth before smiling. Blair loved Serena but the way she made everything look so easy and pretty made her hate her a little bit.

"So how are you?" Serena said

"Great" Blair replied regaining her composure.

"That's good. Did you have a nice time at your meal the other night?" Serena said smiling widely and raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! It was actually amazing."

"Come on, I want every detail"

"Well we had a candlelit dinner, and it was very romantic and then-" she paused in excitement "He gave me this!" Blair extended her hand and showed Serena the new ring she was so proud and infatuated with. Partly because of its beauty and partly who it reminded her of.

"Oh my god B, it's gorgeous!"

"Don't pretend you didn't tell Chuck to get it for me" she laughed.

"No, well. He asked me actually, It was all his idea. He really put a lot of thought into what to get you"

Blair smiled to herself and looked down as she traced the heart shape of the ring.

"Ahh young love" Serena sighed.

Blair looked up straight away obviously uncomfortable with what she had just heard.

"Oh touchy subject" Serena said laughing intrigued.

"Um, no. It's just..." Blair struggled for words.

"Do you love him?"

"I'm not talking about this"

"Thats what he said" Serena chuckled leaning back.

"What?" Blair almost shrieked causing a couple next to them to turn and frown "I mean, you've talked to _Chuck _about this?"

"No" Serena lied but Blair could read her friend easily.

"What did he say?"

"Look, he wouldn't admit anything. I can just tell how you're both feeling"

"Which is what?"

"Confused, nervous, excited"

There was a pause as both Serena and Blair contemplated their own feelings and how much they had grown from their former younger and more self-absorbed selves. Blair wondered whether Chuck really did love her, she wanted to trust him completely but everything seemed to be going just too well. That wasn't a bad thing but her and Chuck had been friends a long time before they ever felt like this and Blair knew Chuck better than anyone else, mainly because they were so similar. And she knew he wasn't seen as the picture perfect guy, he was to her, but others had serious doubts about her relationship. And she couldnt help but contemplate them.

"Do you think he's really changed?" Blair asked Serena breaking the silence.

"I think he's trying damn hard- for you"

"I know. I'm trying to you know, to let myself go completely and to...love him"

"You have to try to love him?" Serena said confused.

Blair laughed softly. "No. That's the easiest part- loving him. I couldn't stop loving him now, even if I tried."

Blair looked up at Serena to show just how serious the whole situation had become to her. This wasn't just a school girl crush now. This wasn't like when people went to the cinema, or went out for a couple of weeks before breaking up, or just held hands. This was deep, and all consuming for her now. It still shocked her just how much a feeling could override all other worries and fears but she felt like she could finally stop trying to have the perfect movie of her life. And instead realised she already had everything she needed.

* * *

Chuck swirled the last of his scotch in his glass and then gulped it back, the bitter-sweet burning sensation as it hit the best of his throat was the perfect antidote to the way he was feeling. And he hated feeling like he was, all his life he tried to cover up his insecurity he had with his father but with times like these he realised just how messed up his upbringing had really been. If he was sure about something in his life, it was that when he had kids he would show them he loved them and was proud of them whenever possible. To the outside Chuck Bass wouldn't be seen as the paternal type, and he would agree; but deep down he longed for a family of his own- somewhere he would be wanted and needed.

But now he knew he didn't deserve to be loved, he was a disappointment, so why not live up to his reputation? And he certainly was living up to his drinking reputation, he had been so involved with his self pity that he hadn't realised how completely _wasted _he was. He tried to get up, or at least move, but he ended up slumping forward onto the bar. He vaguely realised he must look stupid but it felt nice to rest his forehead on the cool wood.

"C'mon mate, sit up" Chuck felt himself being pulled up, his eyesight was a bit blurry but he recognised his bar manager Charlie. Even though he was just a barman he had been like an older brother to him over the years, whenever Chuck needed to just have a drink or get something off his chest he would always be there. "Your phone's ringing Chuck".

Chuck mumbled something inaudible so Charlie reached into his jacket pocket and pulled it out for him."You've got a pretty lady calling you here" he said as he saw Blair's caller ID"

"Oh no" Chuck sighed, he had forgot to tell her about not meeting up, he couldn't even speak in the state he was in. "Charlie can you text her something?" he slurred "I'll pay you double"

"Sure" Charlie had known Chuck a long time and he knew when he was just getting drunk and when it was something worse. And this time it was something worse.

"Just say I'm sorry, and that I'm still working", he really was sorry. He didn't want Blair seeing him how he was, she certainly wouldn't be proud of him now. Chuck guessed she'd be equally as disappointed as his father.

Charlie pressed the 'send' button and then put the phone back into Chuck's pocket. "What's wrong?"

"Not much to say. I'm a screw up, at least thats what my father thinks about me"

"You're not a _complete_ screw up" he chuckled and then paused to show he was more serious "Can I help?"

"Yes. You can get me another drink". Charlie sighed and went to get his boss and friend the next helping of self destruction.

* * *

Chuck took another swig of his scotch when he noticed his personal space was being occupied by someone, she was obviously meaning to sit so close to him as she crossed her legs towards him causing the slit of the skirt to fall and reveal her upper leg. Chuck had meet many women like her before, infact he'd more than met them. She had a floaty chiffon dress on, it was quite classy but she wore it too low cut, an obvious sign to the opposite sex of what she was looking for. She turned to face Chuck better.

"You wanna talk about it?" her accent surprised Chuck, it was posh- it didn't match her physical appearance.

"And how could you help me?" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Oh I have many methods" she whispered and leaned in closer.

"Please" he smirked sarcastically.

"See you're already begging" she smiled "Look, lets just have one drink together and see what happens. I'm a great way of forgetting about your problems."

"You're not good for me"

"Oh come on, don't act all innocent. I can see it in you, you're a bad boy."

"I used to be"

"Well we'll just have to test that won't we?"

He looked up at her, and thought about what a crap day he had had, and what his father expected of him. But then he thought about what Blair felt about him, of how she was proud of him, of what she wanted from him and he knew exactly what to do.

He turned the to mysterious women and looked at her closely. "One drink".

"That's all it takes" she muttered to herself and then called over the barman.

* * *

Blair was waiting outside of the sushi restaurant, her dinner with Serena had been nice. Blair liked to appear bitchy and conniving to others at Constance but she did like having a friend she could talk to when needed. She couldn't help but feel nervous for Chuck throughout the meal, she knew how harsh Bart could be to his son and she hated him for that. But hopefully everything had gone ok. She pulled her phone out of her bag and found it must have turned off in her meal, she turned it on anxiously and waited to see whether Chuck had texted her anything.

The phone buzzed and Blair flipped it open, **1 new message, **it was from Chuck which made her heart skip a little. She read his apology about how he was still working, she grinned widely. Partly because he had put more kisses at the end of his text than normal, and because he said he was still working. That must have meant his meeting with his father had gone well, and that he was still working with him. Blair felt like her heart swelled as she realised how well Chuck was doing, it made her love him just that little bit more.

She began to text a message back to him, she didn't want to sound too mushy but she was in the mood. She was halfway through texting when he phone beeped again, **1 new message. **She sighed as she saw it was not Chuck, she didn't really care about what anyone else had to say but opened it anyway.

**Gossip Girl here, I told you one of them would see the light. And looks like its C who's finally surrendered to his past, or should I say future? C seen drunk and very disorderly outside Victrola after a night of successfully charming a pretty brunette, shame it's not Blair Waldorf. But don't just trust me- see for yourself. **

Attached beneath the text was a photo of Chuck obviously drunk outside Victrola in the arms of a scantily dressed but pretty woman, and they were getting into a taxi.

Blair couldn't think, or rationalise, or even move. She stared straight forward and felt the stinging tears fall down her face, she tried with everything she had not to cry but the more she tried to ignore the ripping hurt inside her the worse it got. It couldn't be true- she tried to convince herself, but as though being drowned, all her old insecurities flooded her at once. She felt someone behind her trying to support her, it was only then she realised she was crying so hard she was shaking slightly.

She turned and saw Serena's panicked and worried face, Blair leaned her head onto her friends shoulder and began to sob on the New York sidewalk.

**A/N- Well, well. There you go, I so hope you liked it. I know it is not a very happy ending but lets just say Im building up to something big. Sorry if spelling wasnt great I just want to get it out now! I can't wait for the next epi with the real CB- seriously they are so awesome! :) **

**I want to thank every single person reading this, if you like my writing then I love you. Hope you all have an amazing New Year, I will try super hard to be quicker with the next update but encouragement is better than chocolate for me so click the button below! xoxo**


	13. The ice is getting thinner

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

**A/N- I've had a huge exam this week so thats why its taken a bit longer :) but now thats done I can concentrate on this because I really love where its going to go! Thankyou all for liking this, it still amazes me! And just to let you all know from a writers point of view even though things can get very bad for Chuck and Blair they will always be perfect for each other. That may sound strange but the GG writers are scaring me a bit with what they are doing with them so just know I won't ruin them, if you get what I mean. Ok I'll shut up now!! Thanks for reading, and dont forget to review!**

* * *

Chuck threw his jacket down in the hallway of Lily and Bart's penthouse, his head was literally throbbing as though an elephant were stood on it. He swore he was actually still drunk if that were even possible, he headed down the hallway intending to get straight back to bed- he just wanted to forget about last night. If that were possible.

He saw Eric sat on the sofa looking at him with a look he had never seen before on his younger brothers face. He also noticed he was shaking his head a little, or maybe it was the alcohol, he wasn't sure. Chuck frowned at him confused, but also to signal what was wrong.

"Serena's going to kill you, I would run..."

"What?"

"Where you were last night" Eric said anxiously

"That's got nothing to do with Serena, why the hell does she care?"

"What? Are you serious? It's a big deal Chuck-"

"No, it's not. I used to do it all the time, what's changed now?"

Eric simply looked at him with a sense of disbelief, and a complexed Chuck looked back equally confused. He was about to question Eric further but he heard the slamming of the penthouse door behind him. He turned to see Serena storm into the room with a look of anxiety and fury on her face. Chuck watched as she bent over to take her shoe off, now he was really confused but he didnt have time to think any further as Serena launched her 4 inch wooden heeled shoe directly at his head. Chuck swerved at the last second and the shoe knocked a vase of the coffee table, Eric hurried over to clean it up.

"Serena! What the ff-"

"CHUCK BASS" she yelled interrupting him.

"Told you" Eric said quickly before leaving the room.

"I cannot- I mean. _You! ... _What were you _thinking? O_f course you weren't thinking at all, oh god"

"You're drunker than me" he slurred "Do you wanna let me into this little conversation you're having? Apparently you're annoyed about last night?"

"Apparently" she scoffed "You really are a Bass-tard Chuck"

"Ok seriously. What is going on?"

"Where's your phone?"

Chuck was becoming more and more frustrated that no one was giving him a straight answer, but he tried to clear his hazy thoughts to remember where his phone was...

"Oh forget it use mine" Serena flipped open her phone and pressed a few buttons before once again aiming the small metal object directly at his head.

"Woah, just calm down Serena, it's not that big-" Chuck stopped in his tracks as he read the Gossip Girl text from last night on the screen in front of him.

He never thought a simple text message could destroy someone's world until he read this one.

"I need to talk to Blair" he said very quietly but completely focused.

"What? There is no way, I have been sat up with her all night while she was crying her eyes out, _over you!_" Serena knew her words would have some affect but she was unprepared for Chucks response. The color literally drained from his face as he sat shakily down on the couch.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit" he mumbled to himself.

"You need to tell me exactly what happened last night Chuck"

"Fine, but just wait until I've told you everything before you judge"

Serena was unwilling to trust him but she gave him the benefit of the doubt as she sat down next to him on the coach.

* * *

"Ok so were you with Blair last night?"he said.

"Yes, Blair said she got a text from you saying you were working, which was obviously a _lie _so-"

"Bart rejected my idea for the company" Chuck shook his head as he realised just how unimportant and trivial that seemed now when everything was put in perspective "And I was annoyed, and pissed and I-" he stuttered his words, uncomfortable with being so honest about his feelings "I didn't want to disappoint Blair by telling her so I lied"

Serena gave him a judgemental look and shook her head.

"Look, just wait a minute. Jesus, you're becoming as judgemental as Humphrey. Anyway I lied and went to Victrola instead, which in hindsight was a clear mistake but still I went there and had a few drinks, which turned into a lot of drinks"

Chuck tried to concentrate on exactly what happened but the thought of what Blair was going through made him begin to panic which made it a lot harder.

"And then I met this girl" he said frowning

Serena stood up and began to pace in front of him. "Go on"

"We had a couple more drinks and then I-" he cringed slightly with regret.

"What Chuck? What did you do?" she urged him on

"Well I knew what she wanted to do, and the old part of me would have. But I wouldn't, I couldn't."

"So you didn't cheat on Blair?"

Chuck threw her a disgusted look "No. I would never."

"But the picture?"

"I was in a bad way so she took me to a taxi"

Serena raised her eyebrows to show her apparent disbelief.

"Honestly. I wasn't in the right state of mind"

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." Chuck was unwilling to expand but he knew he had to tell Serena everything. "I got a bit emotional-"

"Chuck Bass got emotional?" Serena interrupted with a slight smile on her face but she was primarily curious.

Chuck looked up at Serena and began to re-tell exactly what had happened last night, honesty was the only thing that could save him now.

_The previous night..._

_Victrola was buzzing with activity as usual, the bright lights and nightly dance routine on stage had just began. Chuck Bass sat on a bar stool wondering what the hell he was doing and what the night would behold. The young pretty girl next to Chuck downed her next drink in one, they had been idly chatting for a while but she sensed something was obviously in the way "So spill it, whats your problem?"_

_"What"_

_"I know there's something wring, tell me."_

_"Fine. I let everyone down, I'm just simply not worthy of anything" he stared forward._

_"Well it's either love, sex or money. And I'm betting by the look of you its the first one" she could obviously tell he was rich and extremely good-looking so it was an obvious choice._

_"It doesn't matter, she won't love me when she finds out who I really am."_

_"What do you mean?" She suddenly found herself slightly interested in his story, she had had her heart broken a few times so felt a pang of empathy for him._

_Chuck knew what the answer was but he was determined not to say it out loud._

_"Come on, you won't remember this tomorrow and I don't even know you"_

_If he was anywhere else and even slightly more sober then he would have kept quiet but he threw caution to the wind and blurted his feelings out anyway, "I don't want her to see who I really am, because I'm a failure and I screw everything up. And she's the best thing I've ever had in my life so If I let her in any further then I'll screw her up too" Chuck tried his hardest to fight back the tears that were forming "There's just no way I deserve her, but the worst thing is- I think, I think she loves me too. And I'm petrified, like really fucking petrified of losing her."_

_"I'm sorry" she didn't have the heart to make a move on him now. In fact she felt quite sorry for him, which is a response she never thought she'd have._

_"Don't be." he sighed "I can't do this anymore,"_

_"Come on, let's get you a cab"_

_Chuck stared at her in disbelief, she didn't look like the caring type. But then he realised that he knew absolutely nothing about her, maybe she was equally as messed up as he was and was just letting go for the night. He reached into his pocket to hand some money to her._

_"I don't need your money" she laughed "But here is my number" she said reaching to get his phone before entering her number into it. Chuck took back his phone and let her guide him out of the club, he vaguely realised just what a mess he had made of the evening and just wanted it to end the sooner the better. He had no idea what he would say to Blair, or if he would say anything. Instead he decided he would just figure it all out in the morning when he had a bit less alcohol in his system..._

_He stumbled outside and into the first availible cab they could find, the nameless girl helped him in and then chuckled to herslef "Well this isn't how I expected tonight to go"_

_"Me neither...thanks"_

_"No problem, call me sometime if you ever need to- well, I don't know just call me._

_Chuck knew he had no intention of ever calling her but he nodded anyway and gave the driver instructions to get to the Palace. He just wanted this night to end as soon as possible..._

"So, I went back to my suite instead of coming here and that's what I thought you and Eric were talking about, and I know I was a screw up and shouldn't have lied or had a drink with that girl but I- I just didn't know what else to do."

There was a pause as Chuck took a deep breath and tried to survey the situation, on the negative side he had lied and messed up, as well as meeting a random woman who apparently now had his mobile number. The pain he felt about what Blair must have thought last night was only truly hitting him, he needed to explain everything to her before it was too late. But on the positive side he hadn't cheated on Blair, and a small selfish part of him was extremely proud he had finally managed to get one thing right. He turned to see what Serena's reaction would be, she was concentrating completely on his own expression.

"Honestly?" she questioned him.

"Yes."

She sighed and let out a smile, not an over-the-moon joyous one but more of a relieved content one. She looked back at Chuck's still worried expression and felt she needed to help him in some way. She thought about hugging him but decided that might be a bit too much so she just rubbed his shoulder affectionately.

"I need you to get Blair to speak to me"

"Yeah, um ok. Let me think. Oh! Blairs got a meeting this morning with the Yale rep. at school. She wouldn't miss that for the world so I guess If you want to get to her first the only place would be outside school. I can say I want to meet her there?"

"School?" he sighed. It was not the option he had been hoping for, he had put her through enough stress and humiliation without having an argument outside the school building where everyone would be thrilled to see a public embarrassment of their Queen B. But he needed to tell her everything, he just needed to see her. All he wanted to do was just be there with her. "Ok, so in about an hour then?" he bit his lip anxiously having absolutely no idea what today's events would entail.

* * *

Blair had just come out of her meeting with Constance's Yale representative, she had tried her hardest to put on a brave front, dressing correctly and speaking well but inside she felt completely empty. She didn't know how the hell to deal with the immensity of what she was feeling, she just went onto auto pilot and acted how she knew a Waldorf should. She may not have the boy she loved anymore but she still had herself and her future to concentrate on, or at least distract herself with until she dealt with- _Chuck._

Blair was standing at the bottom of the steps of Constance, she had been careful to avoid anyone else as they were all in lessons at the moment. She would give it a couple of days before she showed her face in school again. She was normally more confident but she just couldn't face the embarrassment, she felt like any extra thing could just break her. She needed some time to- well, recover.

She checked her phone to see what the time was, she just wanted to meet Serena then get as far away as possible.

Chuck could see Blair waiting in the courtyard, he was transfixed at how broken and upset she was- it reminded him of the day after they first slept together and how she had looked then. But it wasn't nearly as bad as she was now, her shoulders were slumped forward and her beautiful face was now pale and void of happiness- it made him hurt to see her, but it absolutely _killed _him knowing he was the cause.

He began to walk forward to speak to her but as soon as she saw him approaching from the road she immediately began to back away.

"Blair, wait-"

"No" she choked out

"-Please"

"No, Chuck. I'm done"

"Please, just listen to me for one minute" He was close enough now to see the extent of pain in her eyes

"Why? It'll all be bullshit anyway, I don't want to hear it"

Chuck could see she was starting to cry, all he wanted to do was just hold her against him and comfort her but he had to make her understand. "That picture was lie. Nothing happened, I swear."

"How could you?"

"Please, I'm telling the truth" he begged.

"What? Like how you were telling the truth when you said you were working when you were really screwing some slapper!"

Chuck groaned as he realised how bad everything appeared to be. "I'm sorry" he said honestly.

"Oh, finally. _Thank you _very much! That makes everything ok."

"Blair please believe me." He stepped in closer so there was nowhere else for her to look apart from his eyes. He lightly placed his hands on her arms and looked deeply into her glistening chocolate brown eyes. "I would _never _do that to you. I made a mistake lying to you I realise that, but I could never cheat on you- you have to know that. You mean too much to me- you mean _everything_ to me." He took a deep breath "I can't live without you Blair"

"Well that's too bad" She emphasised her words cruely. She could see the look of sheer pain wash over his face, but she didn't really care anymore, whatever he felt she knew she felt worse.

"Blair-" he pleaded. He could see he was losing her, she began to walk away brushing his shoulder as she stepped forward.

Chuck sighed and ran his hands through his hair, he heard the school bell ring as the students started to walk out of the doorways. He could tell they had seen Blair from the shocked expressions, many of which were focused on him too. He could feel everything slipping away from him, he had to do something.

"Blair!" Everyone turned to look at him, including Blair. "Please don't do this to me!"

"To _you!" _she yelled. She no longer cared who was looking "How do you think _I_ feel? This whole thing was never going to work, everyone could see it apart from us. I don't belong with you. Never have, never will."

There was an echoing silence as all attention was on Chuck who stood watching what he had feared the most. He knew he should say something but he simply couldn't formulate any words to represent how he was feeling.

"You don't mean that" he said quietly

"Yes, I do." Blair knew deep down she didn't, in fact she meant the opposite. But her rational self was screaming for her to let go of Chuck "Why do you even care?"

"_Why do I care?" _he said astounded. He looked down, not quite believing this was how it was going to happen. "I care because I was falling in _love_ with you Blair" he shook his head "But you obviously don't feel the same way," He turned and began to walk away, he couldn't take anymore.

Blair's stomach dropped as the realisation hit her, time seemed to slow down as she watched him walk away from her, walk away from their relationship. The regret hit her as she re-called everything she had just said to him, everything she hadn't meant but had obviously meant everything to him. "I'm sorry. Chuck-"she called, but it was too late he had already gone.

She stood frozen not knowing what to think, _what if he was telling the truth? What if she was just insecure after everything that happened with Nate? _But more than anything she kept replaying what he had said to her -_"I was falling in love with you Blair". _Somewhere in her mind she vaguely realised she had the whole school looking at her but she couldn't care less, she had never felt more alone in her life.

"What happened?" Serena said arriving and shaking her best friend slightly, "Did you speak to him?"

Blair looked wide eyed at her best friend "I think- I think it's over"

"What?! Didn't he explain everything to you? I mean I know it looked bad but he admitted everything,"

"What?"

"He came home not knowing about any of this and explained everything, he was angry after Bart rejected the new proposal so he went to Victrola. He didn't want to disappoint you, he did have a drink with the girl but nothing happened. He was devastated of what you might think" Serena blurted out as quickly as she could to help her friend understand.

"So you arranged for him to meet me here for him to tell me?"

"Yes. I'm so sorry, it was a stupid idea. I just- he just said he needed to talk to you"

"Oh God." she gulped, she couldn't believe how she could have got everything so wrong "S, I have to find him." She needed to get to him before he did anything stupid, she needed everything to be how they used to be, and she needed to tell him that she loved him too. As soon as possible.

_A/N- Thank you for reading!! I used quiet a lot of CB lines from the show on this chapter but I really wanted to see what it would be like Blair rejecting Chuck instead, which I found really interesting to write. I'm sorry about how long I take to update but I just want to do a really good job for you all, and do them justice, and its going to get verrry interesting- I can assure you. Would love to know what you think, any kind of comment is amazing and really appreciated. Lots of love Sarah xoxo_


	14. Sad songs for Dirty lovers

**Title: **Better Than Love  
**Pairing: **MAJOR Chuck and Blair  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **Chuck and Blair both have reputations to uphold, but how long can they cope with hiding their feelings for one another, and when feelings are finally revealed will they be able to pull through and be together?  
AU, but does involve dance and limo scene in first chapter, also shows more of a sensitive and romantic Chuck.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters, but I am saving up.

**A/N- I'm going on holiday so I'm gonna try and write like crazy for quicker updates. And I'm considering starting another fic with a series of CB happy one shots. Because in times of CB drought and need, we all need to stick together and remember how amazing and epic this couple is. **

**Carried on straight from last chapter, I imagined a lot of this chapter like scenes in an episode rather than writing, so bear that in mind. And I hope you are all well :) As always, reviews loved x**

Chuck sat on the bar stool in Victrola, he was beginning to not like the place as much as he used to, but it felt like a second home to him- bars always had been. He sighed, he was emotionally exhausted, he never normally was in touch with his emotions at all but Blair seemed to bring it out of him. And she had certainly just brought a hell load out of him, he couldn't quiet believe he had just admitted his feelings in front of everyone. It wasn't that everyone now knew that bothered him, it was the fact that Blair had just stood there and not said anything. He was telling the truth yet she acted like she simply didn't care, he was now convinced that she didn't love him and never had.

He was tired of it all, he couldn't keep trying to be a better person- it had obviously gotten him nowhere. He just wanted to forget about it all and escape, he thought about what he could do to just get away from it all. At that moment an idea hit him, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone, he scrolled through the names on his contacts until he saw one he didn't recognise- Jessica. He definitely didn't know a Jessica, which meant it was exactly who he was looking for. He called her straight away.

"Hi. It's Chuck...Chuck Bass. Do you still want to talk" he said with a smile on his face.

* * *

Blair cursed herself in the back of the cab, she was officially the biggest idiot on the Upper East Side. Chuck Bass had just admitted he was falling in love with her and _she _was the one to mess it up. In alternate universe she could have so easily said it to him first only for him to reject her, but she hadn't. He actually was serious about her, he was changing for her- and she loved him for that. But after just leaving him there, and not believing him, she felt terrible.

She didn't understand why everything was so hit and miss with them. It's at times like these she wished they were like a normal couple. It was like the Universe was equally drawing them to each other but pulling them apart at the same time. She just wanted everything to go back to when they were happy together, _surely that was possible?_

"Come on B, we're here" Serena touched Blairs arm to wake her from her thoughts, they both got out of the taxi and onto the sidewalk. They were outside Victrola and it was very quiet which was unusual, they walked into the building and towards the bar. Serena could tell her best friend was a bit all over the place so tried to help her as much as possible, she called over the barman.

"Hi! Charlie?"

"Oh hey Serena" He walked over to them and grinned but his smile dropped as he recognised who Blair was.

"Are you looking for Chuck by chance?"

"Yeah we are, has he been here?"

"Yeah you just missed him actually I think he's heading back to his hotel suite"

"How was he?" Blair asked nervously quiet.

Charlie wasn't going to lie to them "Not good."

Blair closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Right Ok, let's go find him."

"Thanks Charlie" Serena smiled.

"No worries. Uh Serena can I talk to you a minute?"

Serena looked at Blair who simply nodded out of encouragement and then headed back outside.

Serena turned back to him "What did you wanna talk about?"

"Was that Blair?"

"Um, yeah why?"

"Well, when I said Chuck was at his suite-"

"He's not there?" She interrupted.

"No, he is. He's just- he's not alone."

"Who is he with?"

"The woman he was with the other night I think"

"Oh."

"Just be careful, Chuck has a way of hurting people, whether he intends to or not."

"Believe me I know." Serena thanked him and then left to join Blair. Serena knew her best friend was tough but she didn't know whether she could take this.

* * *

Chuck heard the knock on the door, he walked over to open it but the sloppy way he was walking told him he had had too much to drink- which was exactly what he needed. He opened the door to see the woman he had met only the previous night. She was smiling and wearing a green and gold dress- it didn't really suit her, but she wouldn't be wearing it long, he thought.

"Well don't you look ravishing" he said and gestured for her to come in.

"Thanks" she said and walked in more confidently than a normal girl would.

"Do you want a drink?"

"No, I'm fine. What was it you wanted Chuck?"

"You" he tried to persuade himself.

"What about that girl?"

He looked away from her eyes and clenched his jaw "She doesn't- I don't want her. She doesn't matter anymore" he lied.

"Really? Because I don't want to be involved if you're still with her"

"Forget about her" He almost told himself "_You _have my complete and undivided attention.

She got up and walked closer to him, "Well aren't I lucky?" She ran her hands down the front of his jacket and removed it from his back. Her breathing was shallow and she leaned in closer to brush her lips against his.

To say Chuck was conflicted was an understatement, he had done this so many times before- just met a random girl, have absolutely no feelings for her and then sleep with her- then wake alone. The best thing about it was that no feelings were involved, it was just an outlet for him. A way to rebel and escape. _This was what he did, this was who he was_- he tried to convince himself. His father had given up on him and more importantly Blair had given up on him- _so why the hell should he fight it?_

He raised his hands, cupped her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her. She pushed herself against him and he backed into the wall, her hands started to unbutton his shirt.

Chuck tried to be vaguely into it, he tried to blank his mind. But there was no hope, all he could think was- _Blairs skin is softer, Blairs lips are fuller, Blair tasted better, Why the hell isn't this Blair? _

He pulled away almost as soon as he'd leaned in.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything. Everything about this is wrong- I'm sorry" He was actually surprised by how little affect she had on him, it's like his body just didn't care anymore. Once he tasted a delicacy he couldn't go back fast food. And thats all it would be, just a pointless one night stand to hurt Blair. He almost felt repulsed, not by her, but by the fact he was with someone when he was in love with someone else. He just couldn't deny it anymore, he wasn't who he used to be, Blair had changed him and it was undoubtedly for the better. She may not care anymore, but he still did.

"I can't do this, you should go"

She pulled the strap of her dress up "You're a jerk"

"I know"

"No you don't" she said frowning at him.

"Believe me I do, but I'm trying"

There was a pause as Jessica tried to judge whether he was being sincere or not. "You don't realise the effect you have on women"

He laughed out loud, he knew that himself but it was funny to hear someone else say it. "I wish I could have that affect on one woman in particular"

"So you're still with here?" she said becoming angry.

"No. Not anymore, I changed for her but she still couldn't get over my past. And she thought I'd slept with you..."

"What?"

"There was a photo, and Gossip Girl, and- its a long story"

"Jesus, your love life's complicated"

"You're telling me" he chuckled "I'll call you a cab.""Thanks, now how about a drink instead of sex" she smiled sarcastically.

"I think I can do that."

* * *

Blair rushed into the entrance of the Bass' hotel, Serena was trying to keep up with her but was failing to do so. Blair just needed to get to Chuck as soon as possible, this whole confusion just needed to be sorted- she needed to sort it. She was going to tell him everything, exactly how she felt. If Chuck could do it in front of everyone then so could she, if he really was falling in love with her then he had to understand. She just hoped she could get to him before he did anything stupid.

"Blair, wait a minute" Serena pulled her back slightly

"What, S?" she sighed.

Serena tried to think of an excuse, if Chuck was still with this woman it would break her heart. But then again, the Chuck she had come to know had really changed and was actually turning into a pretty decent guy, maybe she should trust him. She didn't have time to decide anyway.

"Serena, thanks for helping me but I need to do this now. I need to stop acting like a child, I'm gonna have to give some things up if I want to be with him. And I do, I really do. So, I know you're just trying to look out for me but please just go home, I'll be fine."

She took a deep breath. "Ok, good luck. Love you B"

Blair let out a nervous laugh "Yeah that's what I need him to say"

"Call me if you need me"

Blair smiled and watched her friend walk away before she headed towards the elavator, she stepped in and pressed the button she needed. In a strange deja vu, she was transported to the last time she had been going to see Chuck in this very elavator, she was going to find him and similarly confess how she felt to him. She couldn't believe it was always her to mess up, he actually had done hardly anything wrong. It made her feel ashamed of herself that he was changing and giving up his old life for her yet she never gave him the benefit of the doubt. She hoped that the night would turn out like the one those weeks ago, he would be romantic and take her into her arms and-

The doors sprang open as there was a quiet ringing noise, Blair stepped out and walked down the corridor. She wasn't going to run like last time, if she was going to do this then she needed to take her time to get it right, she had no idea what she was going to say though. She began to panic, she hadn't thought about what she'd have to say. And she hadn't thought about what kind of a state he was in, what if he was completely out of his face? Or collapsed? Or worse, what if he simply didn't care?

As Blair got nearer to the door she imagined all the different ways that Chuck could reject her, all the cruel words he could say, or whether he just didn't care anymore. She tried to put them to the back of her mind, but Blairs insecurities never left her. They were just as big a part of her life as her headbands.

She had reached his door now, 1812, she stared at the gold plated numbers and tried to build up her courage- _why was she so nervous? _She'd casually said "I love you" hundreds of times to Nate, but she'd never meant it like this. She knew she could do it, she was Blair Waldorf, she didn't get scared over things like this. And it was Chuck, her Chuck.

Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck.

She raised her hand and knocked slowly on the door, she took a deep breath and straightened her dress and headband- a trait that even in the heightened of times she still obeyed to.

She watched as the door was pulled open. Chuck looked surprised to see her, but he smiled. Just a small one but she could definitely see it was a smile.

"Blair I-"he said quickly.

"I need to tell you something, and it can't wait." She wasn't even going to go in, she felt the doorway represented the present uncertainty she felt well.

"If it's about earlier then don-"

"Please, just listen Chuck." She looked deeply into his eyes, he looked quite nervous which was not what she was expecting but she continued anyway. "Earlier, I was, I was not thinking straight. I was hurt by what I thought was true, and I know I should have acted differently or believed you it's just its hard to. Not that it's hard to believe you." She struggled for the right words but continued. "I should have believed you because you've never done anything for me to not trust you, at least not while we were together. And, and it's just I've always felt like thats what I'm destined for, for people to leave me, or choose someone better" She thought about her dad and Nate. "But then you've been the only one to just want me, for who I am"

Chuck leaned forwards, he looked like he was going to reach for her hand but stopped the movement as he realised she had not finished.

"When we're together you make me feel like we're the only two people in the world. And I all I want to do is just savour that moment, and savour you. I feel young and alive and scared- really scared. But then you'll say something or just look at me and everything is fine again, because I've got you. And I'm sorry if this is sounding really cheesy but I need to say it" She looked up and saw Chuck smile, but there was still a look of worry in his eyes.

"Blair, just wait, can we-"

"Please, you need to hear this. I'm saying all this about how much you mean to me, but I kind of hate you too. You know exactly how to frustrate me, and what I'm thinking and you never let me win an argument. But that and the fact that I think we can really make a go of this, me and you-"

"Blair-"

"We can make this work. I know it, because as much as I'm stubborn- I'm willing to give up everything for you. I can change for you... because I lov-" Chucks smile was dazzling but that wasn't what made Blair stop mid sentence. Perhaps in the most crucial sentence she was ever going to say. She stopped because she saw two glasses on his table, and a womans handbag. She looked up at him, he obviously thought she was taking the time to say her words but that wasn't the case.

Blair looked at Chuck quizzically but the next second her silent questions were answered.

"Who is it Chuck?" the womans voice said as she walked from behind the doorway. Blair recognised her as the woman from Gossip Girls photo, how could she not recognise her, she had stayed up half the night crying over the photo. But now she had the real life image right in front of her. Blairs heart dropped to the floor. She looked up at Chuck, he was frowning with his eyes closed.

Only two thoughts registered in Blairs mind- the man I'm in love with is with another woman. And pain, sheer, over whelming, heart clenching pain.

_A/N- I'm sorry, but I hope you liked it, this is the excruciating part of excruciating pleasure. Have faith though, updates will be soon and CB will be for__ever. Please update with any thoughts or opinions, I'm quite__ nervous of what the reaction might be but I'll love you all whatever it is. xoxo_


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